Friday, June 28, 2024

No Mo "Fo Mo" Fo Joe

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The first, and quite possibly only, presidential debate for 2024 is over and there was an indisputable winner: the Democrats.

Not because Old Joe did well, because he certainly didn't. The man basically sh*t the bed on live TV. He lacked energy, had a weak and hoarse voice, and mumbled, stammered, and mangled words and ideas, all while staring blankly into space. Trump, on the other hand, radiated vitality and confidence and showed a surprising amount of control and restraint. Well, for Trump.

So brutal was the difference between candidates that even the panel of talking heads on CNN couldn't put a positive spin on it and instead unanimously agreed that Joe has to be dropped from the top of the ticket. Which was, of course, the plan all along and is why this was a huge victory for the Democrat machine.

It's been clear that Joe was refusing to step down on his own and equally clear that he was likely to be demolished in the general election. And so the Powers That Be decided to put Joe onstage to be publicly humiliated so that he can be replaced with a new candidate who might stand a chance against Trump.

Personally, I wish this wasn't the case. Joe would have been relatively easy to beat absent massive fraud. Now the door is open for an Obama-like candidate to magically appear with hazy credentials (that won't be scrutinized by the press) and meaningless slogans ("In the fierce urgency of now, WE are who we've been waiting for") that will be swooned over by the media and the dimwitted woke. 

Or maybe a hoary (in every sense) old warhorse like Hillary will suddenly be anointed. Either way, despite his impressive debate performance, it looks like the race just got significantly harder for Trump.

Monday, June 24, 2024

All The Whirled's Onstage

With only a few days to go before the much-anticipated Trump/Biden debate, Team Biden has leaked that Old Joe is going to show up with a few surprises, including a surprise about his physical performance. Which is the nice way of saying he'll be filled to the eyeballs with amphetamines and street meth. Still, one can't help but be impressed with his performance in this new campaign ad...
(Note: videos may take a few seconds to load after you click on them)

Seems legit. Unlike this detestable "cheap fake" video that someone (not me, God knows) made to mock Biden for his reflexive, despicably racist statement "if you have a problem figuring out if you're for me or Trump, then you ain't Black." Nice stereotyping and use of a patronizing "ain't," Joe. Although considering that Trump is making historic inroads with Black voters, I suppose this video could be a real Biden ad...

Friday, June 14, 2024

The Boxed-Up Rebellion

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Maybe next year old friends...

Today, Friday June 14th, is Flag Day. Which would normally see stately Jarlsberg Manor adorned with multiple American flags, a proud display of the stars and stripes.

But not this year. That flag has long represented the ideals upon which our nation was founded, but current realities make that no longer true.

We're currently seeing the jailing of political prisoners, targeting everyone from a former President to grandmothers who tarried too long while "parading" on Capitol grounds on January 6th. Conservative political consultant Steve Bannon is heading to prison for (entirely appropriate) contempt of Congress. But Democrat Attorney General Merrick Garland has also been found to be in contempt of Congress and suffers no threat of imprisonment or even chastisement. The United States, once a beacon of hope for the oppressed, has become the oppressor - silencing and punishing its citizens for dissent.

Corruption, blatant and wholesale, runs rampant through the layers of government, the judiciary, and the alphabet agencies, undermining our principles of justice, fairness, and accountability. The institutions tasked with protecting our country now erode it from within. And you'll find an American flag atop every official building.

Meanwhile, the media's portrayal of our nation has skewed reality, encouraging divisiveness and perpetuating lies. A current Washington Post editorial makes the point that the Left should seize symbolic ownership of the flag from Trump and his malign MAGA misfits. But the Left wants only to steal a politically useful symbol rather than to rededicate themselves to the Constitutional principles that flag once stood for. It's not the cloth that they should be fighting over, but rather the virtues that formed the fabric of our nation.

To fly a flag that, in practice, currently represents these betrayals is something I can't bring myself to do today. I withhold my allegiance, not out of disdain for what the flag should represent, but to preserve that flag for a future worth symbolizing. Hopefully as soon as November.


Just so you don't think that I'm only posting today to suck all the joy out of life,  here's another homemade musical tidbit (sorry if you're sick of these) with a bit of a story to it.

Using AI, I made a pretty credible country song and opined to some folks that a person could turn out a respectable album in a very short time and attribute the songs to an AI generated artist. And to make my point, I made an album cover for shining new country star (and patriotic pin-up) Cassidy Bell. The album title was the name of her alleged hit song "Who Cares If It's Real?" - a bit of meta humor about the fact that none of it was real. 

But then I got curious about that song title. What would her hit sound like? And so I whipped up some lyrics, used AI for the vocal and illustration, then edited together a music video to go with it. If Cassidy Bell goes viral, mum's the word, okay?

Turn on closed captions for lyrics

Monday, June 3, 2024

My Felon Americans

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Having a grim time - wish we weren't here!
And now it's on. Donald Trump, the only real threat to the Deep State, is facing 136 years in prison after having been convicted on all counts for allegedly committing a handful of misdemeanors that had already expired under the statute of limitations. The only testimony linking Trump to the misdemeanors came from a known and repeat perjurer-under-oath who, by the way, embezzled $30,000 from Trump while an employee.

But the system worked. Because "the system" is now about power rather than law. And the Left is determined to stop Donald Trump by any means. And when I say "any" I specifically mean killing him if necessary. How else would you explain Democrat efforts to pull his Secret Service protection detail? Is the thought that he'd be perfectly safe in a nice, cozy jail cell like Jeffrey Epstein was?

Personally, I'd love to see Trump open every speech from now until inauguration day with the words "My felon Americans..." Because all conservatives - hell, all those who are even rational - are now considered thought-criminals to be dealt with outside the restraints of traditional laws and Constitutional rights. And by cheekily starting each speech with "My felon Americans" Trump simultaneously mocks the Left, unites the Right, and reminds us that we're all at risk now. Not just a risk of losing a job or being targeted with an IRS audit, but an actual risk of being disappeared in the night and whisked away to a political prison. Just ask the sightseeing grandmothers who toddled through the Capitol Building on January 6th.

This is not hyperbole. This is now.

Obviously, Trump must win for any of us to even have a chance or for our nation to have a future. And his winning doesn't guarantee anything (ask the President who made the mistake of taking a convertible ride through Dealy Plaza after pissing off the CIA) but it is the essential next step on which all else depends.

My actual feelings about Donald Trump haven't changed much over the years. I still think he's a goofball who nonetheless loves America and does our country great good when allowed to do so. Or to paraphrase actor Dennis Quaid, he may be an asshole but he's our asshole.

The sickening travesty of a trial in New York will forever be the norm if Trump loses in November. We can't let that happen.


Between politics, health challenges, and missing my late wife, Kathy, I'm not always the cheeriest sumbitch day to day, but I still make an effort to amuse myself and others. Hence, the cartoon above which illustrates the least-favorite advice I'm sometimes given.

Still, they say that when Life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade.  Currently, Life is giving us George Orwell, so in an attempt to make Orwellian lemonade I've taken a slyly naughty poem of Orwell's and turned it into a Broadway-worthy romantic ballad. The first half of the song is George's (including the punchline!) and the second half is mine. This could be the beginning of a beautiful, and pretty weird, friendship.

Closed captions are available for those who want to read the lyrics and titter in public places. Enjoy!