Monday, April 5, 2021

Just Another Mish-Mash Monday

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, biden, harris, floyd, georgia, mlb, AOC, Busty

Discerning readers (and if you're here, that's you) may be aware of a subtle shift in the tenor of the Stilton's Place blog following the events of last (alleged) election day. We no longer really provide in depth coverage and analysis of current events, but rather just get within spitting distance of the news. And we mean that literally - we just get near enough to news stories to vigorously hock up big, wet mucousy phlegm wads and spit it right on them.  Because that's all the "news" deserves these days.

Let's look at the gob-covered stories listed above...

• In Washington, a black man, theoretically deranged from repeated football concussions and exposure to the rantings of Nation of Islam founder Louis Farrakhan, rammed his car into two policemen (killing one) and a concrete barrier before waving a knife around and getting shot deader than a mackerel. This is a horrible story...but it's not a big one. A crazy lone wolf did a horrible thing and now he's dead. Yet politicians and the "news" media are more or less calling this "insurrection two" (ignoring the fact that there was no "insurrection one") and citing it as evidence that our nation's capital needs to remain a guarded military outpost. Unlike, oh, our southern border.

• Hunter "Foot Job" Biden has just released his autobiography, which is titled "Beautiful Things" because "Child Molesting, Crack Smoking, and Bribery" didn't test as well with publishers (although it will likely still be the name of the eventual movie). Not to put too fine a point on it, but Hunter Biden is human scum, due at least in part to the fact that his father more or less abandoned him (after Hunter's mother and sister were killed in a car accident that the boy and his brother, Beau, survived) to devote himself to politics full time. Not that anything good ever came out of it, other than giving Joe the chance to sniff a lot of women's hair...and likely worse.

• Major League Baseball is moving its All-Star Game out of Atlanta, Georgia because the state wants to ensure legitimate elections by requiring voter ID. Which, apparently, no black person in Georgia has or is able to figure out how to acquire. Of course, the MLB itself requires people to produce ID to pick up their "will call" baseball tickets. But hey, who are we to criticize them for loathing black people? 

• Do we really need to say anything at all about what an offensive idiot AOC is? She apparently wants U.S. taxpayers to cough up "reparations" to illegal aliens because...well...we don't know why and we don't effing care. Meanwhile, small children are being dropped over the border wall (recent video shows a 3-year-old and 5-year-old girl being dropped from a 14-foot high wall to thud heavily onto American soil). Theoretically, that's the sort of thing that Kamala Harris should be looking into, but she's apparently too busy laughing hysterically and supervising the remodeling of her vice-presidential quarters. Not that she plans to stay in them long.

• The George Floyd trial continues to drag along, setting the stage for a fresh round of rioting and outrage no matter what verdict comes in. Adding to the merriment, Cher recently tweeted that if she'd been present at Floyd's final encounter with the police, she could have saved his life. Which, appropriately, got her spanked by the Left for presenting herself as a Great White Savior for black people incapable of determining their own fates.  Cher is sticking to her metaphorical guns, although she hasn't yet clarified just how she would have saved George Floyd after climbing into her time machine. Presumably she might have told him not to try passing any counterfeit money that day. Or advise him to simply get in the back of a police cruiser when asked to. Or maybe she would have suggested that he not take a potentially-lethal dose of drugs. But we do know what she wouldn't have done: just STFU.

Okay, end of rant for today. But seriously, we're holding the "news" at arm's length until further notice. Which fortunately still leaves one hand free for pinching our nose.


Mike aka Proof said...

So Cher is saying, if she could turn back time she could have saved George Floyd? Why not go back an entire year and warn the country about the Wuhan virus? What? No I got flu, babe?
Do you believe in life after plastic surgery?? I'd make a crack about Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves, but I don't want to say anything bad about Democrats on Easter!

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

My left arm has a smallish, middle aged kitty sleeping on it. [1] My right arm is within reach of a chilled mug full of my favorite beverage.

Just a reassurance that not EVERYTHING has turned into a steaming pile of donkey shit.



Brie Camembert said...

@MMM what a lovely kitty. Nice railway too. My own cat Kato used to love sitting in the middle of my son's railway, patting the trains as thet went by. We have a new Cato now but he is more interested in the great outdoors (both siamese incidentally). Yes there is still much to thank God for.

@Stilton. I'm afraid that life in the USA has gone beyond parody. Just keep the Clan McGregor to hand!

Fish Out of Water said...

'No balls' pretty much sums it all up.

Fred Ciampi said...

And anymore, I just turn on the noooze to see if we had a "Night of the long knives" last night. If not then I binge watch "NCIS" and look for different outcomes. So far there have been none. What I can see, however, is that our country is getting closer and closer to the breaking point. I don't know what will happen then but I thank God that we are in a safe haven. 'Nuff said. May God bless America again.

Ole Scrapper said...

You know Stilt...body functions are eliminations of necessary processing, heh. I like the goober eliminations, I've used the illistration when dealing with insubordination of facts to reality. Love your posts keeping on is always appreciated.

Bobo the Hobo said...

Love the Cher reference (She didn’t even save Sonny). Stilton’s Place is my source for news anymore.

jimbro said...

My television news consumption has dropped precipitously since the stolen election. What I do read online from conservative sources so sickens me and I don't need Democrat operatives with press passes polishing the turd to make it more presentable to the public at large.

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

I get my news from "Day by Day", "Mallard Fillmore" and "Stilton's Place".

What this says about the state of things barely bears repeating. :P

@Brie: Meezers rawk. Norma's chum is Sylvia Siamese...

Anonymous said...

Ironic the Dems think the Georgia requirement for voter I.D. and signature verification is draconian. Wondering how they explain the the intense scrutinization of signatures to recall Newsom. Just saying....

Paul Davis said...

Major League Baseball: MLB. Notice what that spells backward?

Bobo said...

Apparently mlb wasn’t paying attention to itself from when it went on STRIKE years passed and really never recovered from the stunt. Nothing like hitting into a triple play and cutting your potential fan base in half or thirds. They’d be better off to do what they do best - PLAY BALL, not politics.

TrickyRicky said...

I hate to say it as a lifelong baseball fan, but MLB is dead to me. So sad. I will miss day games at Coors Field. We gave up being in downtown Denver at night years ago.

John the Econ said...

Insurrection Two?: I tend to tune out of the media and current events over the weekend as a critical component of my sanity regimen. So I really didn't avail myself to any opportunity to hear the MSM characterize the latest capitol incident as "Insurrection Two". What I did hear on my drive home from skiing (also a critical component of my sanity regimen) Friday evening was that Washington officialdom had declared that the attack was "not terrorism". This is in contrast to the Georgia shooting that was immediately declared a "white supremacist" attack, followed by the Colorado attack that was also definitely not terrorism even though it was the work of a radicalized Syrian Muslim. So it really does come as a surprise that they'd characterize the act of a follower of Farrakhan as an actual "insurrection" as it only serves to legitimize Farrakahn as a threat, which for the last several decades the left and MSM has definitely gone to extremes to avoid.

Does Hunter Hate Daddy?: That's all I can conclude from the various snippets I've heard. The thought fist occurred to me when Hunter carelessly lost control of his laptop full of impeachment-worthy content, ultimately making it available to a mass media that just couldn't care less. Just how far will Hunter have to go to actually get back at daddy, and how far will the media go to provide cover for this drama? And could anyone imagine the chaos had any of the Trump kids behaved this way?

As for the title, Beautiful Things, that looks much better on the bookshelves filled with books of virtue signalling leftists that they never actually have read, but that they want all their friends to think they have read than the more accurate Child Molesting, Crack Smoking, and Bribery would have.

And of course, Hunter is scum. But the MSM will compliantly sell the narrative that everything he's done and will do will be because he's the real victim in this tale. And that will make everything okay.

Major Loser Baseball: I remember as a kid many decades ago when we'd go to a MLB game and everywhere they'd be passing out punch card ballots to vote for what players you thought should go to the All Star Game. Even as a kid I thought "How legitimate is this? What is to stop me or anybody from stuffing the ballot box with 100 votes for Steve Garvey or Ron Cey?" Today, all star voting takes place online, where you are encouraged to vote every day. So I'd think that MLB should be the last organization taking a stand on voting integrity, unless of course you want the process to be a total free-for-all.

I really hope that as we speak, the 4Chan guys or others are working to totally cluster this year's All Star Game voting. Instead of the leagues best and most popular, I'd like to see a lineup totally made up unknowns, pitchers who can't find the strike zone and sub-Mendoza Line hitters all missing the fence during the Home Run Derby. That would be funny to watch, assuming I cared anymore.

Sports is one of the few things in society that all people regardless class, race, or personal ideology could enthusiastically enjoy together. When fans watch a game, nobody cares who or what the guy sitting next to them voted for. They're just fans enjoying the game together. Now, the frauds who speak of "bringing the country back together" destroy even that.

John the Econ said...

AOC and Trillions: AOC has made no secret of her fondness of something called Modern Monetary Theory, which is neo-Keynesianism on steroids that suggests that the government can just print money forever and projectile vomit it at special interests with no ill effect, just like Venezuela does.

So trillions for the Green New Deal? No problem. Trillions for road diets?
Of course! Trillions more for reparations to people who have no business being here? No problem. And of course trillions for the people who will re-elect her, if they're lucky. No problem. When the price of a loaf of bread hits $100, then that will perhaps be a problem. But then she'll just subsidize bread and problem solved, right?

If AOC had actually received an education worth the $300-grand she supposedly spent on it, she'd know that this is exactly how the Weimar Republic was replaced by the real Hitler.

Shortest Book Ever Written: Things that Cher thinks that matter.

TVAG said...

No, there's a shorter one: Things That Cher Thinks That Matter To Me


Sortahwitte said...

When the people that manufacture the news meet their due, as in: a long fall with a shorter rope, we will still be a good country mile from getting our republic back. I am sorry to say, but there will have to be a physical push and shove. The wrong side see that this is the place and time for "socialism to really work." We see a mob trying to tear down what we hope to leave our children and grandchildren. If you are not educating your grandchildren, it's almost too late.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Mike aka Proof- Well played!

@M. Mitchell Marmel- CATZILLA!

@Brie Camembert- Parody has never been tougher. I just want to stand with my arms outstretched shouting "What the f*ck?!" all the time, but I'm not sure anyone would find it entertaining.

@Fish Out of Water- 'zactly.

@Fred Ciampi- When the crap hits the fan, don't shoot at anyone approaching your safe haven with a big wheel of Jarlsberg cheese covering his face.

@Ole Scrapper- Glad you enjoy the posts and can excuse my manners!

@Bobo the Hobo- The Sonny reference was cold, but seemed fair. Well, fair-ish.

@jimbro- I'm watching less news, I don't have Rush Limbaugh to listen to, and I can't even unwind with Alex Trebek anymore. I'm really not much hooked into the common culture these days. And I use "culture" in the sense of something that you can grow bacteria in.

@M. Mitchell Marmel- I thought I'd read that Mallard Fillmore was given the axe by his syndicate? Hopefully I got that wrong.

@Anonymous- The whole "black people can't figure out or obtain I.D." is ridiculous. We need I.D. for EVERY damn thing these days, and it can easily be obtained for free.

@Paul Davis- Sweet mother of pearl! You've broken the Illuminati's code!

@Bobo- To Hell with 'em. I'm sick of sports teams (and can there be anything more inconsequential?) lecturing the rest of us about how to live.

@TrickyRicky- Maybe you can find some minor league or local teams to support. Surely not EVERY team can be run by assholes, right? Right...?

@John the Econ- I didn't actually hear anyone call it "Insurrection Two" but I heard a LOT of stories tying the incident to the (ahem) "violence on January 6th that left five people dead" and said that this lone Nation of Islam idiot was cause to maintain the fences and troops keeping citizens out of Washington.

And yes, Hunter is a victim (because who isn't these days?) He banged his dead brother's wife attempting to reframe the love they both had for the deceased Beau. And he certainly wasn't a bad guy for denying the paternity of a stripper's child because, gosh, he was so high on drugs he didn't even remember nailing her. And the drug addiction was his way of coping with the grief of losing his brother. So much so that he apparently started way before his brother even got sick.

I'd love to see 4Chan (or anyone else) screw up the All Star Game. At the point MLB wants to play this political game, they've become legitimate targets for tomfoolery.

The endless printing of money can't end well, and the fact that anyone - anyone - can't see that is genuinely frightening.

@TVAG- Yup.

@Sortahwitte- I agree. It's easy to see the overt damage to our system, but the not-so-subtle indoctrination of younger Americans is what will do us in. Woke snowflakes filled with a sense of entitlement and no understanding of history are worse (much worse) than useless.

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

@Stilton: Mallard got dropped by the Gannett papers, but is still syndicated, at least for now, on Comics Kingdom and is still running in other papers.

Anonymous said...

"Meanwhile, small children are being dropped over the border wall (recent video shows a 3-year-old and 5-year-old girl being dropped from a 14-foot high wall to thud heavily onto American soil)."

Maybe we can get some guy who's really good at making lots of pillows to donate some to soften the kid's landing..........

Erik said...

@Anonymous - "Maybe we can get some guy who's really good at making lots of pillows to donate some to soften the kid's landing.........."

Such as David Hogg?

John the Econ said...

These people are insane. But since wokism is a mental disorder, we shouldn't be surprised.

It appears as though MLB has chosen Denver (less than 10% black population) to replace Atlanta (more than 50% black population) for the All Star Game because Georgia's voting regulations disproportionately affects people of color. Even more amusing is that Colorado's voting laws are actually more restrictive than Georgia's, with less than Georgia's 17 days of in-person voting and Colorado has those awful Jim Crow ID requirements and signature matching.

Since Democrats are the historical party of white supremacy, I guess that is considered a win.

Hunter the Victim:

Smith asked, Hunter, “So, looking back, did you make a mistake taking a spot on that [Burisma] board?”

“No, I don’t think I made a mistake in taking the spot on the board,” he replied. “I think I made a mistake in terms of underestimating the way in which it would be used against me.”

See? He's not a corrupt bad guy cashing in on Daddy's influence. He's the victim! He didn't understand how us awful non-connected schlubs would resent how he gets to get rich just for breathing air and being related to a former vice president. Poor Hunter. We should leave him alone so he can get better, and richer.

Colby Muenster said...

I'm still pissed at Cher for breaking her promise to move to Jupiter in 2016. And exactly how was she going to save Floyd, tell the cops, "let him go or I'll start singing?"

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

@Colby: She'd threaten to show them her butterfly. ;-)

Colby Muenster said...


M. Mitchell Marmel said...

@Colby: Fifty years ago, it woulda been a treat.

JustaJeepGuy said...

@Erik, did David "Publicity" Hogg ever make a single pillow? I don't believe he has ever gotten to the point of actually selling a pillow; I seriously doubt he ever made one.

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

@Jeep: He's too busy with this:

JustaJeepGuy said...

3M: N'yuk, n'yuk, n'yuk!

Michael Riles said...

To the tune My Beautiful Balloon

Up up and away,
we'll see new pilots fly.
They will not be hired,
to fly if they are white.
They will be people of color,
gay or illegal
So what if they,
don't qualify.