|This cartoon is a carryover credit from our 2015 risibility returns
While Tax Day has technically been moved to May 17 this year, the government still requires the self-employed to make a quarterly tax payment on April 15. So there's no way to know if you're making an accurate payment unless you've done your freaking taxes. So once again we're dancing with Turbotax and the always impenetrable language of the IRS. Seriously, it would be easier to interpret the language of dolphins than whatever the hell the IRS forms are talking about.
And we're feeling especially resentful about paying our allegedly unfair "fair share" this year while watching how the Democrats are spending like there's no tomorrow. And perhaps ensuring that very outcome.
When did "trillions" become such an easy-peasy word to toss around in spending bills? Joe Biden's proposals already total over four trillion in new spending, which is more than the total amount the government collected from taxpayers in 2019. So where is this "money" coming from? You'll find out soon enough as you watch the purchasing power of your savings or retirement accounts dwindle while prices rise on (we pause to check our extensive research)...oh, yes! Everything!
Then there's nonsense like New York's $2 billion plan to give away $15,600 in Covid relief to individual "undocumented workers who can meet strict eligibility requirements." Which makes us wonder: how can the "undocumented" meet any eligibility requirements? Are they excluded if they do have an I.D.? And is there any way to stop the Biden administration for making this the new standard for Democrat voting?
Still, there are even dumber ways to waste tax money. Although Kamala Harris has yet to evince any interest in the non-crisis border crisis she's supposedly in charge of, she has suggested that she believes the best way to reduce the tsunami of illegals invading our nation is to make their countries of origin more desirable to stay in. Which is why the Harris-Biden administration is considering plans to just send Central American citizens the damn money directly and save them the long walk to our border. Whether or not they'll still receive a complementary Biden t-shirt remains unclear.
Neither are we keen about writing another big check to the government (and we're lucky/unlucky that it IS a big check) in order to fund a CDC which believes that racism is a public health threat (hint to the CDC: if you can't culture it in a petri dish, then STFU). Nor are we happy about pouring money into the FBI, Homeland Security, and the National Counterterrorism Center - all of whom have declared "white supremacists" to be the greatest active terror threat owing to, and we're paraphrasing their report here, "all white people being bad." But if that were true, then we'd be making a tasteless joke (which we aren't) about NASA announcing that the best way to use our tax dollars is to put a "person of color" on the moon.
But despite all of the above, we're actually glad to pay our income tax. Because it still beats getting raped in a prison shower.