Heil Merry Christmas

And not the firm, dry stuff either.

As 2017 drags itself across the finish line, we find ourselves reflecting on the fact that this may well have been the worst year ever for American journalism - and that's a pretty high bar to clear.

We've got plenty of evidence to back up this proposition, not the least of which is a new article from Newsweek which is hilariously titled "HOW TRUMP AND THE NAZIS STOLE CHRISTMAS TO PROMOTE WHITE NATIONALISM" (hey, if they use all caps, we'll use all caps).

The article, tastefully published on Christmas Eve and likely written under the influence of heavily spiked egg nog, would be impossible for us to paraphrase. No, it needs to be read to be (dis)believed:

"Trump is promoting a version of the holidays which excludes members of other religions, and his crusade to bring back Christmas is part of a larger attempt by the President to define America as a country for white Christians alone.

Wishing people "Merry Christmas" instead of "Happy Holidays" is thus in line with Trump's decision to ban citizens of Muslim-majority countries from entering the United States, critics say. It fits neatly with his refusal to condemn white supremacists when they march against diversity, and with his condemnation of athletes who protest police brutality against black men."

If you read far enough into the article, which we certainly don't recommend, Newsweek finally gets around to saying that in pre-war Germany the Nazis attempted to nationalize many holidays including Christmas. But they then generously concede that "Trump's rhetoric differs from that of Nazi Germany's, most notably because he has never advocated genocide."

This is not journalism. It isn't even an editorial. It's an ugly, hate-filled, foam-at-the-mouth screed by people whom Trump would unsubtly but accurately describe as "losers."

We'd say more, but this piece of garbage article upset us so much that we need to calm ourselves with some relaxing music. We're thinking Bing Crosby singing "White Christmas."

AND ONE MORE THING...

This is our final post for 2017 (we'll have our annual "year in review" post on Monday) and we want to wish all of you a very happy and safe New Year's celebration, whether it's boisterous or quiet. And remember, if you drink don't drive...and if you don't drink, can we have your glass of champagne?

Happy New Year from the Jarlsberg family!

Simple and dry, but we think you'll be amused by its presumption.

Christmas Weak

We'll admit it: rather than harshing our Christmas buzz by marinating in the news, we decided to give ourselves the precious gift of sloth. We also gifted ourselves with a buttload of extra calories, a 2 o'clock "Happy Hour," and some family binge-watching of "Ash vs. Evil Dead" which has finally made it to Netflix. The series is, in a word, "groovy."

But we haven't arrived at the blog empty-handed today! Just feast your eyes on this...

No photoshop was used in this picture. Honest!

Yes, it's an honest-to-gosh Donald Trump gingerbread cookie which we received in the mail today, along with a bunch of other homemade goodies from a special (and conservative) friend! We only took it out of its cellophane wrap long enough to take this picture, then carefully replaced it.

And while framing it seems appropriate, the reality is that it's probably not an option. So after a suitable period of Making the Cookie Jar Great Again, we'll have to eventually consume this spicy treat.

Interestingly, it isn't supposed to be dunked in milk. Rather, it should only be dunked in liberal tears - which, fortunately, are flowing freely these days.

Peace on Earth, Good Will to Men

Wishing you all a wonderful Christmas and a happy New Year!