Whined and Dined

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Joe Blow

It's official! "Groping Joe" Biden is now in the 2020 Presidential race, ratcheting up the excitement and interest in the Democrat field of contestants to the place that we still don't give a single damn.

Seriously, are the foam-at-the-mouth young radicals really going to get excited for another old white man (indeed, possibly the whitest man on Earth) with a long documented history of grabbing and nuzzling women and children, plagiarizing speeches, and making gaffes every time he opens his mouth? A man who has a long and easily-checked record of bad policy calls - like opposing integration efforts for schools, being wrong about every foreign policy pronouncement he's ever made, and announcing on live TV that Obamacare was a "big fucking deal" (although in fairness he was right, and we were the ones getting f*cked).

Biden made his announcement via a slickly-produced video in which he solemnly read meaningless platitudes off a teleprompter: "Folks, America is an idea. An idea that's stronger than any army, bigger than any ocean, more powerful than any dictator or tyrant (wink-wink, nudge-nudge). It gives hope to the most desperate people on Earth. It guarantees that everyone is treated with dignity. And gives hate no safe harbor."

While this droning monologue might make Biden (or more likely, his speechwriter) a reasonable candidate for Poet Laureate, it does nothing but confirm that the one-time Veep is an empty suit whose sole purpose is to give a pleasant face to the ugly, dangerous, and anti-American plans of the Deep State swamp dwellers.

But rather than put us all into a coma by continuing to talk about such a dull man, let's revisit a few cartoons from the vault which will help remind us of just what a nimrod we're dealing with...

I Shrink to Forget

We won't lie to you: today's cartoon and commentary aren't really clever insights and perspectives, but rather a laundry list (and a highly shortened one, at that) of the stuff that is driving us out of our ever-loving minds today.

And there's a wee bit of personal experience woven into this. For several months, we've been seeing a psychotherapist to help us develop better coping skills to reduce the levels of stress which may (or may not) be causing "Stilton's Palsy," our self-named affliction that interrupts both sleeping and waking life with occasional involuntary modern dance routines, complete with "spaz hands."

We're glad to say we've been making nice progress, doing our meditation exercises, breathing deeply, and picturing ourselves in the safe interior of a magic subterranean cave which has soft shafts of sunlight and a glowing pool of gently lapping water. And, importantly, our peaceful place has no freaking sources of news whatsoever. But eventually we have to return to reality, where we're again assaulted by political and media lunacy - causing a tsunami of stress hormones to pressure-wash the insides of our rapidly-aging veins.

What's most frustrating is that we're not nuts - there really is stark raving, mouth-breathing, utter insanity loose in the world and it's only spreading and growing in popularity.

Seriously, if Democrats would just look at all these crazy news stories, it might suddenly dawn on them why so many sane people have chosen to support a President who is at least a bit less nuts than anyone in the Democrat party.

We'd say more, but the session time is up.