A Biden In Every Pot

To paraphrase a very old joke, a young cannibal boy once sat at the dinner table and said "I don't like Biden." To which his mother said "Then just eat the noodles."

In this case, according to a heartfelt speech recently given by Joe Biden, the main course might have been the president's beloved "Uncle Bosie" who was a heroic World War II pilot whose plane was shot down (or perhaps speared) causing him to crash into cannibal territory in New Guinea. The savages ate every bit of him after first forcing him to watch erotic native dancers so there would be "more meat."

None of this happened the way Biden said, of course. His uncle, who was in the service, was a passenger on a military plane that had engine failure and subsequently ditched in the ocean. And that was the end of Uncle Bosie. You'd think that giving his life in the service of his country would be story enough for little Joey (he was 2 years old when it happened) to be proud of, but Joe just had to embellish the story to the point of utter ridiculousness. 

White House press secretary Karine Jean-Pierre, who is in no way related to any flesh-eating tribespeople, found subsequent questions about the cannibal story to be tasteless. Presumably, unlike Uncle Bosie.

But as long as Uncle Joe has put the subject of cannibals on the table, so to speak, it seems an appropriate time to revisit a fond memory from my politically incorrect youth. I loved watching "The Little Rascals" and no episode made me laugh harder than the mistaken-identity romp, "The Kid From Borneo." I assume that there are many here who will remember that episode, which is why I've used AI to create this (suddenly topical) song about the chaos that occurred when "Uncle George" came to town.

And as long as I'm trotting out my AI songbook (seriously, I just can't force myself to follow the news closely these days), here's another little toe-tapping tune that only took me about 30 years to create. Back then, I got the chance to meet a famous cowboy vocal group and pitched them an original song that I thought would fit nicely in their catalog. They politely declined which is hardly surprising, considering that I can't play any instruments and so just had to sing a cappella on a cassette that I may or may not have recorded in my sound-enhancing bathroom shower.

But thanks to the miracle of AI, which is willing to play with us a bit longer before taking over, I finally brought the 30-year-old song to life this week (along with AI generated visuals - though I still had to do a bunch of video editing). It's not politically relevant (assuming that Biden didn't also lose a beloved uncle in a cattle stampede), but I think it's a good idea to kick off a Monday with a toe-tapping cowboy tune anyway!

Another Vine Mess

For those of you who won't be getting a total eclipse today (like we are in my part of Texas) it seems only fair to share something else that you probably shouldn't look at without eye protection. In this case, another collection of questionable products from Amazon Vine - the service that lets a lucky few select free items in return for honest reviews. Some of those products are actually great. Others...not so much. 

GENERAL UPDATES

I haven't been able to post much lately owing to some oddities with my health which are almost certainly due to my recent (or ongoing?) bout of the Fauci Flu. Something is rather dramatically robbing my muscles of energy after the shortest of exertions, forcing me to use a walker much of the time, and I still have wracking coughs despite recent x-rays showing my chest clear. Blood tests and heart scans have been done and nothing has been discovered so far. 

I don't feel bad most of the time, but a trip to the mailbox can feel like a marathon. We may have to look at more obscure conditions to figure this out. Covid can cause "micro-clotting" which sends little clots throughout the body to block capillaries and cut the flow of oxygen and nutrients to cells. And the laughably-named "vaccine" can stimulate the ongoing production of so much spike protein in the body that your tissues become suffused with it...and your immune system starts attacking your own muscles and organs. Hopefully I've got neither (let alone both) of those conditions, but it's an odd time. And big baby that I am, it hurts not to have Kathy here to take care of me or, more likely, tell me to quit whining and do something useful.

Like taxes, for instance. I haven't done mine yet and will be sending a request for an extension tomorrow. In hilariously typical IRS fashion, you can request an automatic extension just by asking for it, with the codicil that if you owe any taxes you still have to pay them by April 15. Well, if I KNEW I had taxes to pay and how much they were, my return would already be done, wouldn't it?!  Bah.

But on a lighter note, I've continued experimenting with AI music and now AI video generation. So just for the fun of it, I thought I'd share some recent works. The first being "Ten-in-One" which is my salute to the oldtime freak shows that fascinate me. The lyrics are mine and I've seen most of the human oddities mentioned in the song personally. Stars in my somewhat unusual pantheon.

On a more upbeat note, here's a fun rocker that is a reworking of a song played by a band I helped create, The Nukes, with my twin brother about 45 years ago. We performed in white lab coats and strange eyewear. These are my original lyrics (and the band's theme song) but the melody, music, and vocals are generated entirely with AI as were all of the visuals - there's nothing "real" in here at all. I edited the clips into a mostly coherent form but the credit (?) goes to artificial intelligence here. These are crazy times, my friends!

JARLSBERG REPORT

(Click picture above to make it larger!)

I can't resist posting on the 1st of April, but it's pretty hard to come up with news stories that are more ludicrous than the ones we're routinely told are "real." Still, it's fun to try. Best wishes to all for a happy (and cautious) April Fool's Day!