Liberals are in a hyperventilating tizzy (but we repeat ourselves) over the latest horror from the Trump White House. Specifically, that mistletoe is being included in the official Christmas decorations, which could lead to a nightmarish spate of boob grabbing and unwanted kissing which hasn't been seen since Joe Biden left the Vice Presidency.
Mistletoe wasn't hung in the White House during the Obama administration, owing to the fact that the media kissed Barry's rear end so frequently that additional smooching just seemed like overkill. Plus, it clashed with the White House Kwanzaa decorations dedicated to Umoja, Kujichagulia, Ujima, Ujamaa, Nia, Kuumba, and Imani...perhaps because people at least knew what the hell mistletoe was.
Frankly, we doubt that hanging a few sprigs of mistletoe is likely to cause men in the White House to suddenly develop a yuletide "Franken sense" and start playing grab-ass with unwilling women. Although just to be safe, we'd recommend keeping Democrats and Hollywood lefties out of the White House until the holidays have passed.
AN EQUAL TIME REPLY...
...to show that we actually take this issue very, very seriously.
AND THIS JUST OUT...
Since going to press with the cartoons above, we've learned that "Today" show host Matt Lauer has been fired from NBC for "inappropriate sexual behavior."
We don't know exactly what Lauer was accused of, but the fact that the name "Matt" is short for "Mattress" should probably not be overlooked.
|And let's not forget the Halloween that Matt |
showed up for work dressed as Jennifer Lopez...