Monday, December 11, 2017

Aboriginal Sin

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, earwigs, aborigines, manhole steamrising, christmas
We forgot the boomerang joke we were going to use, but it will probably come back to us.
We decided to go for a lighthearted Monday rather than actually delve into news stories like California burning (and Governor Brown blaming global warming), black "leaders" refusing to attend the dedication of a civil rights museum because the freaking President of the United States was there, or the latest revelations about Mueller's investigative team and just how far each of them was cozily nestled up Hillary's hiney.


To take your mind off the cares of the world, and to gleefully annoy anyone who is offended by the word "Christmas," we're giving you a free no-strings-attached downloadable album of relaxing instrumental Christmas music!

And yes, it's exactly the same album we gave away last year - meaning this year it's officially a holiday tradition!
Not available in stores. Trust us on this one.
It's the Manhole Steamrising "Complete Christmas Collection" and...what's that? You never heard of Manhole Steamrising? Well, you didn't think we could afford to hire Mannheim Steamroller to record a custom album, did you?! Besides, who needs all of those fancy-shmancy synthesizers when you're trying to enjoy quiet moments with the twinkling lights on your Christmas tree and the tinkling ice in your glass of scotch?

The album is solo harp which is actually played by a real angel (we think his name is "Harold") and consists of 15 soothing tracks of Christmas favorites, two of which are "Adeste Fidelis" and are done (as Basil Fawlty would say on gourmet night) "in two extremely different ways."

It's all perfectly legal, and you're free to share the music and/or the link with as many people as you like. In fact, we encourage you to share! Please! Tis the season! Just click this link to get your download started.

You'll end up with a ZIP file which, when double-clicked, will open up into a folder with your 15 songs in MP3 format. It's our way of saying "thank you" and "Merry Christmas" to everyone who visits Stilton's Place!

Want to sample the music before downloading or enjoy it without downloading? Then just click here to listen to the Youtube version!


M. Mitchell Marmel said...

Manny, Moe and Ungh. The three WORST friends your car ever had.

Stan da Man said...

Ah, yes, the poop boys...

Stilt - you know what you call a boomerang that doesn't come back, yes?
A Stick!

Judi King said...

"Where's the next antifa rally at?"

Anonymous said...

What is especially funny about black leader boycott is that the NAACP honored Trump in 1986 with the Ellis Island award. Fellow winners at that ceremony were Rosa Parks and Muhammad Ali, both 'racists' apparently.

Fred Ciampi said...

Thanks for the download Stilt. It's much better that either "Grandma got run over...." or the Australian version of "Ho, Ho, ....... Ho" done by Monty Python.

Emmentaler Limburger said...

Ah! The DNC'S opposition research and dirty tricks team! Working overtime these days, eh fellows?

REM1875 said...

The men who really tied his kangaroo down and tanned his hide when he died......

Colby Muenster said...

Akama suffered the tribal leader's wrath after playing "Black Dog" on his didgeridoo.

Bobo the Hobo said...

“Play Waltzing Matilda again ...I dare ya”

McChuck said...

The music is quite pretty, really. Thank you, sir, for this precious gift.

Bruce Bleu said...

Funny allusion on traditional Christmas music. Whaddya think of this?

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@M. Mitchell Marmel- Still, they try hard down under your car.

@Stan da Man- Wow, it's the same word in English and Australian!

@Judi King- I'm trying to picture these guys in black ski masks now...

@Anonymous- Excellent point! To my knowledge, the demonstrably liberal Trump was never accused of racism before he got into politics, in fact quite the reverse. But the Left now takes it as a given (with no need for proof) that Trump is a racist, sexist, and anti-Semite.

@Fred Ciampi- I take my Christmas music seriously, and don't really care for "funny" Christmas songs. That being said, an unusual but genuinely wonderful album is HARK! by the Beatles knock-off band "The Fab Four," in which they sing Beatle versions of classic Christmas songs. Unlike most novelty albums, this one can actually be listened to for sheer upbeat pleasure. Here's a sample you can listen to, and there's plenty more on Youtube.

@Emmentaler Limburger- They actually worship a replica of Hillary Clinton. Well okay, it's a potato sack filled with rocks - but still not a bad likeness.

@REM1875- Yeah, these look like the guys to do it. And did you know that Rolf Harris, who recorded "Tie Me Kangaroo Down, Sport," was jailed for awhile for indecency with children? What a frickin' world...

@Colby Muenster- A true fact: I love the didgeridoo, and now I want to hear one playing some Led Zep! I checked Youtube but found no love for didgeridoo and "Black Dog."

@Bobo the Hobo- "That's all we can stands, we can't stands no more!"

@McChuck- Unsurprisingly, some people have expected the Christmas album to be funny or silly or barking dogs or whatever. In reality, it's very sweet and relaxing music - perfect for setting an atmospheric background while trimming the tree, or just settling by the fireplace. And again - please share! Music means a lot to me, so it makes me feel good to be able to share it with others.

@Bruce Bleu- Funny stuff! A parody version of Hotel California called "Hotel Can't Afford Ya," telling the "no room at the inn" story!

John the Econ said...

Pissed because Roy Moore rejected their daughters.

Unrelated item: In response to another jihadi self-detonating at the MTA terminal this morning, NYC mayor Bill DeBlasio actually used the "T" word instead of the usual "We may never know his motive" narrative. The age of Trump is forcing them to evolve.

Back to related items: How about a least favorite Christmas song list? Let me start with:

John Lennon & Yoko Ono - Happy Christmas (War is Over): I'm a rich, bored rock star, so now that my career has long since peaked I have to make everything dreary and about social justice so that I can look and feel like I am worthy maintaining my absurd level of affluence while simultaneously rallying against the system that made me so.

Band Aid - Do They Know it's Christmas?: See above. Pretty much the same except this was a committee effort.

Paul McCartney - Wonderful Christmastime: An incredibly insipid synth-pop phone-in unworthy of the name on the label.

George Michael / WHAM! - Last Christmas: Heartbreak and loneliness over the holidays. Oh, that's cheerful.

NewSong - The Christmas Shoes: Again, that's cheerful.

And some of you may think I'm going to hell for this one: The Little Drummer Boy. Yup. Why? Because just what mother who has just given birth wants some 6-year-old hanging around banging on a drum all night? Even the mother of Christ must have had some limits.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@John the Econ- Least favorite Christmas songs? Well, Christmas Don't Be Late by Alvin and the Chipmunks deserves a spot on the list. I don't like Elvis Presley's Blue Christmas because I'm not a big fan, but especially because of the goofy backup vocals. But my LEAST favorite Christmas song is Happy Holidays by Andy Williams, solely because every time I hear the lyric "He'll be coming down the chimney down," I want to strangle someone.

John the Econ said...

Actually, we love Blue Christmas precisely because of the awful backup vocals. It's not Christmas unless we're driving down the road backing up Elvis going "Wooo wooo weee wooo wooo, wooo wooo weee wooo wooo"!

Andy Williams: We feel the same about the verse that goes "...So whoopdee-do...". We sing it sarcastically.

REM1875 said...

"@REM1875- Yeah, these look like the guys to do it. And did you know that Rolf Harris, who recorded "Tie Me Kangaroo Down, Sport," was jailed for awhile for indecency with children? What a frickin' world..."

When does it end ??? Stop PlEASE

REM1875 said...

My favorite is 'Grandma got run over by reindeer' and also the new version......'Grandma got molested at the airport' (blanking TSA)
Having spent lonely holidays overseas there are a few of of the tear jerking that bring back memories
And climbing my charts is the new one "you ain't getting sh*t for Christmas" which may replace "I ain't getting nothing for Christmas"
Baaah Humbug

Mrs Rem does not exactly agree with my selection........

Colby Muenster said...

Agreed on Elvis, but Porky Pig's version is priceless.

Boligat said...

My all time favorite is Stan Freburg's Green Chri$tma$

It is almost 60 years old and nothing has changed it's relevance.

Gee M said...

Thanks for the referral...Freburg's awesome.

To everyone of the Druid persuasion and followers of the Hebraic other words, to all my Druish and Jewish friends, Happy first night of Hannukah!
We sure showed those Hellene idol worshippers what's what, eh?
If anyone needs a good Hannukah song Youtube has beau coup Adam Sandler and other Jewish Holiday fun stuff! Kyle's "A Lonely Jew On Christmas" comes to mind as a great choice, which come to think of it South Park has several great Christmas (and Hannukah) songs to offer as well!
Unless you're which case Stilton has your music right here!

Hag Sameach, Chaverim!

james daily said...

Stilt: Some of these comments are pricelssly funny. I'll be laughing for a while. What a great bunch of posters, as opposed to posers.

JustaJeepGuy said...

Least favorite Christmas songs? Any song that isn't really a Christmas song but instead is a lame-a$$ "love" song with the word "Christmas" thrown in. That's a LOT of songs. "Blue Christmas" isn't a Christmas song, it's a "my baby done me wrong" song pretending to be a Christmas song.