Wednesday, March 7, 2018

Run Down Feeling

Actually, we're feeling just fine but we ran out of time to get much of anything done today. Which is just as well since we really hadn't come up with a red hot joke about Kelly Anne Conway possibly violating the Hatch Act (yawn) by expressing political opinions out loud.

And so we present you with our usual fallback. And in this case, a fall seems almost certain...

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, earwigs, pyramid


M. Mitchell Marmel said...

Joel Benenson on November 9, 2016, just after the final results came in.

mindful webworker said...

One highly enthusiastic slave - HAH!

Some additional witty comment goes here, but no.

Cat Whisperer said...

This Earwig shows us why Obama supported the Muslim Brotherhood in Egypt – he was infatuated with their “wide stance.”

TrickyRicky said...

Mahmud wasn't prepared for his first sight of a goat with a Brazilian wax.

PorkysPen said...

Too late, Moses understood the "LOL" on the back of that 3rd tablet.....

John the Econ said...

Pantaloons are not a new bad idea.

Kelly Anne Conway & the Hatch Act: Just how many real violations of the Hatch Act were there during the "scandal free" Obama era that for whatever reason weren't prosecuted?

Totally unrelated topic: #Ticketmaster, you suck.

Colby Muenster said...

After failing miserably at the Olympic 1,500m hurdles, Hakim realized he should have practiced on FLAT ground.

@M. Mitchell Marmel,
Is that guy still alive? If so, he must live in a secret bunker under a mountain on Mars.

@John the Econ,
Another shining example of the double standard in the District of Corruption. It irks me to this day how rotten things got under O'Liar, with zero consequences. And apparently Sessions doesn't have any balls, or there would be Obama minions in jail right now and more being prosecuted.

John the Econ said...

@Colby Muenster, what can you say about an Attorney General who is actually enthusiastic about due-process-free civil asset forfeiture? IMHO, that comment alone should qualify one for treason.

He is a walking mistake.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@M. Mitchell Marmel- I can see the resemblance!

@mindful webworker- There is no pressure to add anything witty. If all of the other really funny people were jumping off cliff, would YOU?! God bless mothers for teaching us these things.

@Cat Whisperer- He was also infatuated with leading from behind, if you take my drift.

@TrickyRicky- Great punchline, although I may need to have the resulting mental image removed from my brain surgically.

@PorkysPen- LOL, indeed! When I took a Weekday Religious Education class at about 8 years old, I had a very stern woman give me an "F" on a written prayer because I included a little joke. "God does not have a sense of humor!" she hissed.

I subsequently tried to wrap my mind around the idea that I might have a quality that God didn't have, and I could never get it to make sense. So that's about when I started to question whether or not grown-ups and teachers were always right. I've been cynical ever since.

@John the Econ- Actually, they look a bit like parachute pants, and I can't think of anyplace they might be more useful (for achieving a soft landing) than this scenario.

I think the ONLY reason the Conway/Hatch Act story got reported at all, in its infinite inconsequentiality, is that a lot of people don't know the "Hatch Act" from active treason, and so will assume it's something much more serious than chit-chatting on two talk shows.

And sorry about your ticketmaster experience. One of my guiding principles in life is "if an event requires working with ticketmaster, don't go."

@Colby Muenster- Good to get an Olympic joke in there! It never entered my mind. And I agree with your assessment of Sessions' lack of ballast in the nutsack region. I've been bitching about well-documented crimes in this space for 9 years now, and I'm no mental giant. Surely some of these lawyers, officers, and administrators could do something if they wanted to. Which is why the REAL challenge is to determine why they don't want to...and change the system.

@John the Econ- My policy is to never accept goofiness like this from "my team" if I'd have problems giving the same latitude to the Obama administration. When due process goes out the window, nothing good can happen. Except in the original "Dirty Harry" movie.

piraz34 said...

"Mad Dog is coming! Mad Dog is coming!"

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@piraz34- Thank you for reminding me of a very old (and good!) punchline.

DougM said...

• Phil dropped his phone halfway up and now hears it ringing
• Sid learns that all the porta potties are on the ground level
• Don realizes that his appointment was for a different pyramid
• Al remembers that he left the iron on
• Burt is late for watching the curling finals at Ahmed's sports bar
• As the new guy, Chuck was picked to train for the Olympic pyramid-climbing team
• It was later discovered that Max skinned his knee, because that was the only part left of him that was recognizable
• Turns out that tossing a gay guy off a pyramid isn't always fatal
• etc.

REM1875 said...

Wait till he hits those legos on the next few steps ......

Regnad Kcin said...

John Podesta, realizing that he got snookered by an on-line phishing scam, decides to take early leave before Hillary's T-2000 catches up with him for "re-education therapy".

Gee M said...

Mohammad Ben Sheizah heard there was another visa lottery to the USA open again.

Maoz said...

Hey, Stilt: re that "teacher" who said that God doesn't have a sense of humor, I guess she wasn't familiar with Rashi's commentary. During the confrontation between Moses and Pharaoh, God instructs Moses to encounter Pharaoh early in the morning by the river's edge. As Rashi explains, why should he expect to find Pharaoh there in the early morning? Well, Pharaoh claimed to be a god; and as all good ancient Egyptians know, gods don't need to relieve themselves. But of course, he really wasn't a god, and he most definitely had a need to go. So, to keep up the pretense in the eyes of his subjects, Pharaoh would sneak out of the palace early in the morning before anyone else was awake, go relieve himself in the river, and sneak back into the palace with no one the wiser.
By telling Moses to encounter Pharaoh early in the morning by the river, God was setting it up such that Moses would literally catch Pharaoh with his pants down!
Sounds to me like God has the kind of sense of humor that you can appreciate.

Colby Muenster said...

Man oh Man, tell me about Legos. Nothing is worse to step on when you're staggering to he bathroom, half awake in the middle of the night.

OK, so he is suing Mexifornia, so maybe there is something in eh nutsack. Still, one nut is the size of a mustard seed, and the other is just a little bitty thing.

commoncents said...

Tucker Carlson: Something ominous is happening to men in America

james daily said...

Snake!!! Oh, Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!!

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Doug M- All good, but "Don's appointment" was my favorite!

@REM1875- Spoiler alert: there's a "stepping on legos" joke coming up in Johnny Optimism soon.

@Regnad Kcin- I think Hillary is letting a little time pass before having Podesta whacked. As the Wicked Witch of the West said, "these things must be done delicately."

@Gee M- Think how much funnier the cartoon would be if he was wearing a bomb vest.

@Maoz- Say, that WAS a pretty funny move by the Almighty! I decided a long time ago that the joyless teacher of the religion class just didn't know what she was talking about. You can't look at a platypus and tell me God has no sense of humor.

@Colby Muenster- Legos are instruments of true torture. That being said, I actually bought some for my adult daughter today (a pre-birthday gift).

Regarding Sessions suing California, I'm now seeing stories questioning if it's even legal for the federal government to sue a state. Funny, I don't remember hearing such arguments when Barry sued Arizona for enforcing immigration law.

@commoncents- I just watched that Tucker Carlson segment and it's genuinely frightening. Men are literally losing their manhood (measured by sperm count and testosterone) at an amazing fast rate. As in, if things don't change, men will essentially be sterile and sexless within about 70 years.

@James Daily- Technically an asp, but still skeery.