Wednesday, September 19, 2018

Getting Gamey

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, stormy daniels, mushroom, trump, game show, brett kavanaugh

And in the interest of fair play...

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, stormy daniels, mushroom, trump, game show, brett kavanaugh
An oldie but a goody. The gag, not Stormy.
We live in confusing times. The Left is currently trying to destroy Brett Kavanaugh by painting him as a wannabee rapist (and potential murderer) for perhaps inappropriately touching a girl at a party when they were both in their teens. Which he denies categorically, and we believe him.

But still, in order to be seen as anything but troglodyte sexist pigs, we're supposed to accept the idea that every woman is a gentle flower whose life can be ruined and psyche shattered by an unwanted physical advance. Fine.

But how are we supposed to square that notion in comparison to what the Left's current moral champion, Stormy Daniels, is saying in her new, soon-to-be-discounted book? Referring to her alleged tryst with Donald Trump, she says "I lay there, annoyed that I was getting f*cked by a guy with Yeti pubes and a dick like the mushroom character in Mario Kart." Yikes. No gentle flower, she. Yet despite this horrible experience, she hasn't subsequently shown signs of PTSD or the need for counseling.

Our point is that people - yes, even women - have entirely subjective reactions to things which occur in their lives. Reactions which can be radically different even in similar circumstances. And it is these subjective, emotional reactions which often become memories even more than the actual events which inspired them.

Which is why, in the absence of any evidence of wrongdoing, it would be a crime to deny Brett Kavanaugh his seat on the Supreme Court. Where he can safeguard the Constitution which states, however sadly, that it is not a crime for Stormy Daniels to write a sleazy book.


Mike aka Proof said...

There's an echolalia joke in that second 'toon somewhere!

Jim G. said...

As my Momma used to say, "Sleaze is as sleaze does!" She also said, "A girl's "flower" is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're going to get.

In the case of Stormy, you never know what you're going to get, to get, to get, to get!

Oh my, I feel sorry for Trump's weiner! He was overmatched!

Fortescue J. Giraffe said...

"No, but if we can find my car, we can drive out of here!" - a similar joke punchline

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

Hello! (...hello! ...hello!) Echo! (...echo! ...echo!)

Pinch hitting... for Pedro Borbon... Manny Mota... Mota... Mota...!

Dan said...

Well, at least now I can piece together why "Mario Kart" was trending yesterday.

Although, I would've answered "D" on the quiz.

Jason Anyone said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jason Anyone said...

Ya know, another one who is really earning her place at the "Top of the Turd Heap" is Kirsten Gillibrand.

Dr. Ford’s request for an FBI investigation must be honored. With attempts to smear her credible assault allegations, she shouldn’t be subjected to sham judgment by an all-male panel of GOP senators not interested in the truth. She deserves a nonpartisan review of the facts.

Translation: Don't do to Ford what we've been doing to Kavanaugh from the day Trump announced his nomination.

I swear, it seems like every accusation they launch at Trump & Republicans, it's like a Deja Vu moment, because their similar action is usually so recent.

Democrats! Can't live with 'em. Can't toss 'em in the wood chipper. :-)

REM1875 said...

If it wasn't double standards the DemonRatz/media wouldn't have any standards at all.....

Geoff King said...

If you can't believe a stripper and porn star that goes by a fake name, who can you believe?
Certainly not someone named Christine Ford. Everyone knows that Christine was a '58 Plymouth Fury, not a Ford.

Jim Irre said...

Okay, so now we know the physical characteristics of two Presidential penises. It isn't difficult to wonder why only about half the voting population shows up at the polls anymore.

Judi King said...

This whole #metoo crap has gone completely over the top. I'd wager that every young woman with any life at all has had a #metoo moment. So what? Boys will be boys and girls let them! I, for one, am sick of it. This seems, to me, to be an orchestrated agenda to promote more victims to exploit, hopefully to get more votes for the left.

Laura D said...

@Geoff King - and she's *probably* just as psychotic as the car...

AmyH said...

Yep. Boys have always tried to get in girls' pants/skirts and then years later these same boys have little girls of their own. Then those little girls become teens.

FlyBoy said...

Isn’t it funny (not in a ha-ha way) how libs are outraged by a boy copping a feel of a fifteen year old girl, but at the same time are perfectly ok with sucking an unborn baby into a sink.

Anonymous said...

If you help me find my truck keys we'll drive out of here.

Fred Ciampi said...

"I didn't say it twice, the second one was an echo".

"Put it back in the wrinkle".

Emmentaler Limburger said...

Hey! It works 66% of the time, it's GOTTA be worth a shot to them! Caine, Moore fell to it. But not Thomas. So, let's hope Thomas is the precedent for SCJ nominees...

One of those "exposed" in this manner by the left needs to go after them, and win big. IT's the only way to break this behavior for which they've spent the last couple of decades preparing society by kicking the shit out of anyone that would DARE to ask The Question Which Must Not Be Spoken: "Maybe she's lying?"

(Wait! Didn't Shillary win a case once on that very premise?)

Navyvet said...

Since when does a paid whore give a shit about the size of quality of the payer's dick? I figured that all they would care about is how soon he finishes and how big the tip, that is the monetary tip, will be.
The difference between a girlfriend, a prostitute and a wife?? The girlfriend says, "Are you done already?" The prostitute says, "Arent you done yet?" The wife says, "The ceiling needs paint."

Gumby-damn-it! said...

...after which the husband looks upward (finally) and says "Yes, Honey, the ceiling DOES need paint, but first things first.

Edam Wensleydale said...

I'm rather looking forward to Chief Justice Kavanaugh putting very strict Constitutionalist rulings into future precedent, along with Justices Gorsuch, Barrett and more... :)

Walter L. Stafford said...

There, boys and girls, you have the word of a whore who will do anything, say anything for the top bidder and $$$. Reliable sources have stated from experience that her poon smells so bad, blow flies avoid it and even maggots gag!

TrickyRicky said...

I see a big future for the whore at MSNBC/CNN. She'll fit right in......

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Mike aka Proof- I see a lot of echolalia when watching the TV show COPS:
"What are you doing here this time of night?"
"What am I doing here this time of night...?"

@Jim G- Just for the record, I'm too classy a guy to make a "cream filled" joke about that box of chocolates.

@Fortescue J. Giraffe- And a fine old joke it is!

@M. Mitchell Marmel- Well, it's still a ball game...

@Dan- I think "D" is the right answer too, it's just not what she said.

@Jason Anyone- If men can't weigh in on women's cases, then women shouldn't weigh in on men's cases. And liberals have raised the same stupid argument claiming that people should only be judged by members of the same race or other demographic sorting bin. For that matter, in a criminal case shouldn't a jury of one's peers be criminals?

@REM1875- True yesterday, today, tomorrow, and always.

@Geoff King- Despite his politics, even Stephen King would have to agree with you.

@Jim Irre- I'm still curious about Hillary's, though.

@Judi King- I remember some feminist claiming "all sex is rape," and it seems the Dems are now trying to codify that. NO woman should be attacked, let alone raped, but we can't just throw out due process and (oh yeah!) logic.

@Laura D- "Just when you thought it was safe to get in the back seat..."

@AmyH- Sexual impulses lead to sexual impulsivity and all the complications (good or bad) that follow. We can dislike it all we want, but nature is a tough opponent.

@FlyBoy- Your point is especially well made when you consider that many of those aborted babies are the result of a woman's "choice" not to use birth control. Is that not just as irresponsible as what Kavanaugh is accused of?

@Anonymous- "Oh my God! Someone stole my girl, too!"

@Fred Ciampi- "They fired her, too."

@Emmentaler Limburger- I keep seeing Libs declaring that "testimony is evidence!" Well, it may be admitted as evidence but that doesn't in any way attest to the testimony's truth. It is simply one factor among many that need to be considered. Not that the Dems will admit it.

@Navyvet- Well said!

@Gumby-damn-it!- Either that or the guy thinks "It's easier to buy pillowcases" and flips her over.

@Edam Wensleydale- I don't think Kavanaugh is the type of guy who would let personal vindictiveness affect his rulings on the Supreme Court. But I must admit, there's an ignoble part of me that fantasizes about him getting a lifetime of revenge against the Lefties.

@Walter L Stafford- I'm pretty sure there's an anonymous (or is it unanimous?) letter to that effect somewhere.

@TrickyRicky- And if she doesn't fit in, they'll just use more lube.

Colby Muenster said...

My first reaction was... what a totally screwed up world we have! Take THAT, Darwin. We have devolved, not the other way around.

Unemployment is the lowest its been in decades, the economy is booming, people are getting pay raises and lower taxes, the Korea's are talking peace... and the news is about The President's wanger and a Supreme Court nominee supposedly groping a girl when he was a teenager?!

A) I don't really care and really don't want to know what size or shape ANYBODY's willie is.

B) It may be more of a novelty to find a man who didn't try and feel up a girl when he was 17.

Ain't it the truth! The Democrat's greatest hero admitted to snorting coke and bonging weed... nothing to see here. "He was young, after all." The Democrat's second greatest hero got caught getting a blow job from a White House intern... ho hum... so what....

John the Econ said...

Yawn. I'm having trouble imagining just who is going to buy Stormy's book beyond MSM operatives looking for salacious quotes. It's my impression that the kind of people who even care aren't all that much into reading, if they are even able to. But I guess if there's anything to be learned from it, it would be how the President stacks up sexually; If anyone could offer a statistically relevant experience baseline, it would be Stormy. I just don't think anyone cares. I sure don't.

Maybe Stormy ought to hook up with Bill Clinton, the only other living President who'd be willing (and perhaps even able) to be compared. They could make it a Pay-per-Ewww event. She'll almost certainly make more money from that than the got from Trump.

The Kavanaugh Standard: The President just stated that the testimony of Dr. Ford "would be interesting", and I agree. I for one am anxiously awaiting it so that we can establish at least some facts. Somehow, I think that I'm going to be disappointed. I expect that things are going to stay fuzzy, which is exactly where the Democrats want them to be.

All we do know at the moment is that Dr. Ford revealed these "repressed memories" during marriage counselling over 5 years ago, or roughly 30 years after the fact. What she described was a scenario lacking even a place or time. There are no witnesses or any other form of collaboration. Is she going to appear to quantify any of this, or just let this float as it is? I'm betting the latter. It does the most damage with the least risk. Showing up would only be a personal embarrassment.

I went to a high school with over 2,000 other students. What are the odds that out of those two-thousand, there's at least one with an ax to grind against any conservative, if not me personally, and no ethical compulsion against lying to use it? Pretty good, I'd expect. (In fact, out of 2,000, I'd be willing to bet there'd be at least two, if not more) Under the new Kavanaugh Standard, this individual just needs to send a letter to their congressperson describing their fuzzy "recall" of some exaggerated or outright imagined untoward behavior at some almost random time and place from 40 years ago. And then, they don't even need to show up to defend the accusation because of their emotionally compromised state!

If this becomes the standard by which any nominee for any position can be rejected, then the Republic is indeed over. For every future non-Progressive, the Democrats will have a queue of people with fuzzy, non-specific, non collaborative accusations designed to impugn and embarrass decent and honest people, the very kind that we should want in our highest positions of responsibility and power.

I agree with @Stilton. Not confirming Kavanaugh after this s***show would be the crime.

james daily said...

The Blue Wave is working great!
Flores and Gallego went head-to-head in the special election to replace former State Senator Carlos Uresti who lost his seat after he was convicted of 11 felony charges.
Hillary Clinton won District 19 by over 12 percentage points in the 2016 presidential election! Congratulations to Pete Flores!!

james daily said...

Forgot: This district has not seen a Republican hold the seat in 139 years.

Velveeta Processed Cheese Food said...

@Econ. Around the time of the Monica scandals I remember hearing that Clinton's Ship of State had either a port or starboard list.

Rod said...

I'm back to the PC after a short trip "unplugged". Stilt: You maybe should consider a public service edition informing everyone that Bert & Ernie were PUPPETS. So is the Cookie Monster, who doesn't really eat any cookies. And Big Bird is not really a... Aw Hell; never mind.

Jason Anyone said...

Anyone else see where Vietnam War hero, Major General Richard Blumenthal claimed Kavanaugh has a credibility issue. (I forget what rank he used. But Major General was convenient to throw in he was probably using Major General to compensate for minor genital. Insert "rim shot" [here].) :-)

Anonymous said...

Stormy has done 'it' with so many men, I'm surprised that she notices any more.

Dan said...

'Tis long been a technique to provide funds unofficially by having the subject publish a book and then all the "supporters" buy copies, thereby providing funds to the subject. I think Jim Wright of Texas (a former speaker of the house) was caught using that kind of scam and lost his position.

I figure whatshername will get a good book advance, copies of her book will be bought in bulk for George Soros and then used as fuel for his fireplaces or used for leveling legs of tables throughout his mansions. She'll also give speeches to groups worldwide. Maybe she'll set up a charitable foundation.

I think I've found the opening paragraph of her book:
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Quisque id elit viverra libero sagittis varius eu id purus.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Colby Muenster- You're right that we're experiencing de-evolution. Nature's evolutionary goal is simply for animals to make babies, but until now that required showing some sort of superiority which made individuals more likely to breed. These days, the standards have slipped considerably.

@John the Econ- If I give Dr. Ford every conceivable benefit of the doubt, I can acknowledge that she may believe she's telling the truth. Which doesn't preclude the possibility that her memory is a bit inaccurate, totally inaccurate, or completely imaginary (there is a history of suddenly unearthed "repressed memories" being specious). It sickens me to see the sideshow of the Left trying to drag the FBI into this, as if there was anything that agency could or should do.

I'm frankly exhausted and disgusted by this whole charade.

@James Daily- I hope the Blue Wave proves to be more Dems waving goodbye.

@Velveeta Processed Cheese Food- I recall that, too. I believe it's called Peyronie's disease. In Clinton's case, it probably proved handy because while he was being serviced, he could simultaneous peek around a corner to make sure Hillary wasn't coming.

@Rod- The story that Bert & Ernie are actually gay is stupid beyond belief. That being said, I'm tempted to do a cartoon on it just so I could use the title "Brokeback Muppets."

@Jason Anyone- The hypocrisy is staggering, albeit not unusual.

@Anonymous- It's terrifying to think of the number of boners she's apparently memorized.

@Dan- You can never go wrong with Latin, although I would think Stormy is more familiar with the Greek way of doing things.

John the Econ said...

@Colby Muenster, this is the best explanation of how we got where we are, and where we are now going. The only difference is that in the movie, it took 500 years. In reality, it took less than 500 weeks.

@Rod, exactly as they did during the Russian revolution, Progressives today seek to politicize absolutely everything. And yes, that includes puppets. In fact, I'd argue that totally politicizing children's television is probably the most important achievement. The earlier citizens are programmed for the agenda, the better.

@Jason Anyone, the vast majority of Kavanaugh's accusers have credibility issues. I think that anyone who supported a Clinton at least once has a credibility issue when it comes to being a judge of the alleged sexual malfeasance of anyone.

@Stilton, exactly what is the FBI supposed to investigate? Supposedly, she won't talk to them until after this 7th investigation. The victim was supposedly in a drunken haze. There is no date or location for the supposed event. The peers who have been associated with this supposed incident deny it ever happened.

All this was intended to be was a drive-by character assassination designed to alienate women from the GOP before the mid-terms. I don't think it's working. In fact, I think it's backfiring. It had better be, or like I said above, from here on out it will be impossible to confirm anything but a leftist.

Bruce Bleu said...

If Stormy went through a cryogenic process would it be called "whore frost"?

Geoff King said...

@ John the Econ: While Idiocracy remains one of my most highly recommended movies, I also had a problem with the extremely generous 500 year time frame. I fully expect a Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho or similar to become president by 2028, and crops to be irrigated with Brawndo (because, electrolytes) shortly thereafter.

John the Econ said...

@Geoff King, to this day, every time we hear the word "electrolytes" mentioned on the TV or radio, Mrs. Econ & I will look at each other and yell "It's got electrolytes!"

It's important to have a spouse with a similar sense of humor.

And of course, Idiocracy's 500-year time frame was absurd. Our easy, luxurious standard of living can survive as long as there is a certain number of competent people around to maintain the critical components. But once they're gone, it will crumble pretty quickly and those who survive the collapse will be sharing a standard of living roughly on par with Afghanistan. Just a collapse of the power grid lasting more than a few months would probably achieve that.

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

I commend to everyone's attention "The Marching Morons" by Cyril M. Kornbluth:

Valvenator said...

John the Econ said...
"..those who survive the collapse will be sharing a standard of living roughly on par with Afghanistan."

We should be so lucky. Those people have been living under those conditions for hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of years. (chennelling my inner Carl Sagan there;)
Imagine today's snowflakes thrown into that environment?
With no Santa Claus Government to bail them out?
In the words of Kelly (Christina Applegate) Bundy:
"The Mind Boggles!"

Edam Wensleydale said...


The snowflakes would either a) get their acts together or b) die, possibly from exposure or from going feral and being shot by the prepared.

Either alternative is acceptable to me.

John the Econ said...

@valvenator, that's my point. It would cleanse the gene pool in pretty short order. People without practical and well-honed life skills who are currently non-contributing beneficiaries of our amazingly affluent economy would suddenly find themselves at the mercy of those who do. And those who do will not be enthusiastic about supporting people who would be seen as nothing more than freeloaders. There won't be any demand for SJWs or mere "thinkers". It will be adapt or die.

You'll probably find some small-scale communism that actually works. You just won't be seeing any pajama boys in them. And those tattooed, androgynous out-of-shape at-one-point-female-whateversexual types need not apply, at least at my commune.

I much prefer my standard of living today. But if they're going to insist on taking society back to the stone age, I'm still going to be better off than they are.

Valvenator said...

"Mike aka Proof said...
There's an echolalia joke in that second 'toon somewhere!"

So there's a name for that condition eh?
"meaningless repetition of another person's spoken words as a symptom of psychiatric disorder."
Learn something new everyday.
I used to work with a guy like that a guy like that.
It gets pretty annoying gets pretty annoying real quick real quick.

Valvenator said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Valvenator said...

@ Anonymous Edam Wensleydale & John the Econ, I don't disagree at all.
The tree hugging nature lovers don't understand just how cruel nature really is.
It might finally sink in when they go foraging for tofu for their next meal:)
These folks just don't realize how much of their natural living or whatever it is they call it is a result of all the industry they so despise.