Wednesday, February 3, 2021

Humped Day

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, earwigs, o caption my caption, ladybug, kenmore, camry

Yeah, we weren't really feeling the whole "comment on the unending tsunami of horrible news" thing today, which is why we're posting our semi-frequent Hail Mary feature, "O Caption, My Caption." Something which may be happening quite a bit now that avoiding the news is an important factor for mental health.

But why, you may ask, is Busty Ross presenting the cartoon? It's because no matter how lame the reason for her appearance, Ms. Ross makes every day a little better - and don't we all need that right now?

In other less-than-exciting news:

• The Jarlsberg family pitbull, terrifyingly named "Ladybug," apparently needs a surgical procedure to repair an ACL injury in her back leg. The procedure involves cutting out part of a bone, then mending it with a steel plate and six screws. All of which is simply a preamble to this statement: how badass is a pitbull with a steel plate in her?!

• Mr. and Mrs. Jarlsberg will be getting their first vaccine shots this week (on Thursday and Friday) and hopefully will suffer no untoward consequences. Absolutely nothing has been said by authorities about showing up for the shots cold sober, so it's nice to have options.

• After months of social isolation, the Jarlsberg family is pleased to announce that on Wednesday afternoon they are hosting a small reception for The Dryer Repair Guy, followed by a viewing of the currently disabled Kenmore that's been tumbling the Jarlsbergs' undergarments since 1985.

• Yesterday, the Jarlsbergs' Toyota Camry, which is old but not as old as the ancient Kenmore dryer, spontaneously started blowing smoke out from under the hood, adding considerable excitement to an otherwise unremarkable outing. Although no official diagnosis has been made, all signs point to "it's just more fricking 2021."


Mike aka Proof said...

Busty Ross presented a cartoon?
Funny! I didn't see it! I'll have to go back and check!

Anonymous said...

Is undried undergarments the dress code for the Kenmore viewing?

mamafrog said...

Eww, the Camry sounds like a ring job, or maybe time to lay it to rest? Troubles always seem to come in groups, I actually get a little nervous if they don't.

Michael said...

I feel for you. I just paid $1100 for a $30 water pump because you have to pull 1/3 of the car apart to get to it. $100 worth of parts in the dishwasher (DIY). Washing machine was cheap. $11 in parts and $9.99 in shipping. All this year plus a huge oak tree on my property came down and took the neighbors fence. Senior apartments keep sounding better all the time.

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

"Best to drop your gun, M'sieu. A pitbull with a steel plate in her, driving a smoking Toyota Camry, is right behind you. You haven't a chance."

(My vote is that the Camry is jealous of the attention Ladybug and the Kenmore are getting.)

Fish Out of Water said...

How many miles are on that Canry?

Fish Out of Water said...

@Michael: don't suppose you own a Honda? Sounds as though you do.

dj said...

L00k before you jab, 'For decades, Big Pharma has controlled and manipulated the media to keep certain truths hidden.

And today, a new “v - shot” ” was rushed through. Skipping key research and development in an effort to “cure the pandemic” and “protect the public.”

It’s causing systemic side effects in 80% of test participants.

There have been severe reactions and deaths, and the shots have been pulled from use only to be reinstated amid fears that people would be hesitant to accept a v-”shot” with so many side effects.

Around 50% of Americans report safety concerns…

Newsweek just reported that 40% of LA frontline health workers declined for the same reason.

And, we can’t have an open conversation about safety because the topic is subject to such extreme censorship…'This jab sounds like russkie roulette to some of us.

Bobo the Hobo said...

Congrats on getting the vaccine. The hubs got his second dose yesterday and is doing just fine. No major side effects noted except that third eye he spontaneously grew (which should make trips to the optometrist interesting now) and in spite of that, he still can’t seem to find his car keys.

Anonymous said...

"Mr. and Mrs. Jarlsberg will be getting their first vaccine shots this week (on Thursday and Friday) and hopefully will suffer no untoward consequences. Absolutely nothing has been said by authorities about showing up for the shots cold sober, so it's nice to have options."

It was reported that drinking alcohol should be avoided before, during and a period of time after receiving the inoculations. I can't recall if it caused worse reactions or caused the vaccine to not be as effective as it could (Drunk driving anti-bodies ?). I know the comment was made tongue in cheek but check to be sure if that is the case.

My wife and son had the 1st one - no problems. Several of her co-workers claimed the 2nd was definitely more painful to take.

Sorry to hear about the dog's injury - a steel plate in a pit bull definitely sounds bad ass !!

Alfonso Bedoya said...

I hadn't thought about Clifton Webb in years, but his movie rolls still apparently stand tall as per the plug in "O Captain." Best wishes with the shots, Ladybug's surgery, and
may the Toyota's smoke problem be easily fixable.

igor said...

When a vehicle takes up the smoking habit, you'll have to chastise it severely and tell it to stop.
Throwing money may or may not be helpful, just like teenagers...

Sue said...

Reasons to not get the shot:
1. 9 months in development instead of the usual 9 years.
2. Insufficient testing, and no testing at all on seniors or allergenics in order to make the results look better.
3. Forbidden to sue if things go south, and for over 100 people in the first three weeks, things have gone permanently south.
4. IT CHANGES YOUR DNA! I don't know why anyone in their right mind would mess with that. Among other things, it also means that when the next plague rolls around, medicines won't work on you.
5. There are markers in the vaccine that will allow your personal health info to be stored in the cloud and thus accessible to anyone.

Anonymous said...

What are two gay guys doing holding guns at each other? Are the guns metaphors?

Caption: it’s none of your business knowing what my left hand is doing.

Anonymous said...


Also-- dr. Joseph Mercola for info.

RFK Jr's site CHILDREN DEFENSE FUND has issued a dire warning about it.
They predict next winter will be the big culling.

It's NOT a vaccine!!

It will render your body incapable of fending off the common cold!
If flu vaccines worked why hasn't the virus been irradicated?


Pray to Mother Mary instead.
Pray to Jesus but DO NOT GET THE VACCINE!

We need you.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Mike aka Proof- I've had to look several times myself!

@Anonymous- Trust me, it will turn out better than how our "come as you are" ("I just did!") party did.

@mamafrog- Yeah, that's what I'm afraid of. From the way my daughter described the smoke, it kind of sounds like sprayed oil on a hot engine. Then again, I know almost nothing about repairs other than that they're never cheap. As far as troubles coming in groups, lately mine seem to arrive in tour buses.

@Michael- Ouch. After a lifetime of frugality, it seems like my life's purpose in these "golden years" is to keep gushing money into other people's pockets.

@M. Mitchell Marmel- Now I want to make a movie out of this!

@Fish Out of Water- I can't recall how many miles, but the car is a '96 and I don't think it's cracked 100k yet. The car is in excellent shape, but old enough that engine components (seals, belts) decay on their own. So the car is likely worth repairing (and will cost less than dog surgery), but still...ouch.

@dj- I haven't seen those stats on a new vaccine with that kind of side effects. If there's a reliable source you can send a link to, I'd be interested. I do know, though, that a lot of healthcare workers are skeptical of getting the vaccines.

@Bobo the Hobo- We're glad (well, glad-ish) to be getting the shots, despite distrust in the powers that be. We have some special comorbidities here at home that suggest that Covid-19 could give us a really rough ride.

@Anonymous- I was indeed joking about having a belt of Clan MacGregor before showing up for a vaccine, though I certainly would have had a belt or two sometime AFTER the shot, so I'll look up more information about that in case I need to substitute my nightly scotch & water for a nightly water & water for a bit. Thanks!

@Alfonso Bedoya- These days, I write some captions/jokes and know that my references are dated enough that a lot of people might not get them. But I'm personally a Clifton Webb fan and increasingly not a fan of people young enough to not know what I'm talking about (grin).

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Sue- You're citing a mix of things which are absolutely true, possibly true, and almost certainly not true...none of which is surprising considering the amount of misinformation we get from all directions these days. So I appreciate your concern, but let me comment on your points:

• Development time was unquestionably WAY less than usual.
• Insufficient testing? No argument from me on that one!
• Also true that you can't sue, and some people have died after taking the vaccine. Though the number is statistically small (gulp).
• I've seen nothing (and trust me, I look) to suggest that the vaccine changes your DNA in any way, although vaccines using messenger RNA are indeed a new technology which is spooky. The idea that medicines won't work on you for future plagues is unfounded, I think.
• Finally, I think "markers in the vaccine" is pure fantasy. For one thing, such markers would need to be unique to an individual to be useful (like the chips people put in pets), but each bottle of vaccine carries doses for six different people, all of whom are getting the same stuff. That would render personalized record-keeping impossible.

@Anonymous- I picked up on the Gay undertones too, but actually ran out of room so didn't include this caption: "La Cage aux Folles: The Final Chapter."

@Anonymous- Again, I appreciate the concern but at this point we all have to act on the most trustworthy information we can get about the safety and efficacy of the vaccines. I assure you that I'm not the kind of guy who happily believes whatever codswallop the government dishes out, but there are other sources - scientific sources - that I find credible.

Regarding your statement "if flu vaccines worked, why hasn't the virus been eradicated," you seem to have a bit of confusion about how vaccines work. They don't kill off the virus or even keep you from being infected by one. Rather, they give your body just enough information to start manufacturing your OWN antibodies which can then fight the real viruses more effectively, hopefully giving you little or no symptoms. And no virus vaccine can ever eliminate the flu because it's constantly evolving and changing - which will also be true of Covid. It will now be with us forever, but with effective vaccines can eventually become no more of a problem than regular flu (which, admittedly, still takes a lot of lives).

TrickyRicky said...

Stilton, sorry to hear of your canine, laundry and automotive woes. As they say, it's always something. As for 2021, I think the way to look at is akin to the final scene of one of my favorite movies.

"Forget it Jake, it's Chinatown"

MiamiSean said...

Smoke might just be a head cover gasket.
Try to get the Moderna shot if possible - they were the most open with data.
Yes, there is vaccine confusion here. The flu vaccine has never reached 50% effectiveness because they pick the strains before the season starts, and they never get the all right.

Sortahwitte said...

Sioux and I have had the first shot of moderna. So far, so good. Do I trust my government? No. When cars came with warning lights that said something other than 'oil' and 'generator' I gave up my tinkering and troubleshooting. We still have the 1964 Galaxie convertible and that's all I work on. You should change the sweet bug's name to Tregotha. I just love dogs. Spring is coming, because we have finally picked up the limbs from the last ice storm. However in the wind, I can hear 2021 say "hold my beer".

Fish Out of Water said...

@ Stilton: If you've got a '96 Camry with only a bit over 100k on the odo, you've got a gem. Well maintained, Camrys will run forever as I see a few late '80s Camrys still on the road here. Not saying you have or have not maintained your vehicle, but seals, etc., do wear out over time. Considering what your vehicle might be worth now and what it may cost to make it whole again... perhaps time to look for a new (or slightly used -like a dealer demonstrator model) vehicle?

Ole Scrapper said...

Morning Sir... your post is a hoot.. troubles troubles troubles, ah life is a troublesome sport... hope your day turns to up. Be careful that poke... the lady who posted a third eye for her husband needs a bit of examination. Best to you and yours!

CenTexTim said...

re: Ladybug - our dog had a similar injury and surgery. FWIW, we found a few alternatives to the post-op Collar of Shame. Here's a link to a pretty good explanation of them.

5 Best E-Collars for Dogs

We ended up with an inflatable collar, which worked well for us, as our mutt was middle-aged and less flexible than a younger dog. (Example <a href = ">here</a>)

The biggest hassle was picking her up and carrying her outside when it was time for her to express her opinion of liberals...

CenTexTim said...

Damn HTML... anyway just go to Amazon (I know, I know...) and search for Katoggy inflatable dog collar.

jrblack said...

Our Kenmore dryer has been tumbling our undergarments since 1977.

John the Econ said...

"No, it's white wine with fish!

Thanks, Busty.

Prayers for Ladybug. And her people.

We now know a small sampling of people who have received the vaccine. The first was a friend who is a retired RN and has been volunteering with the county health department since the Wuhan Flu hit the state. She had a miserable few days, but now appears to be on the mend. She doesn't regret it. Others have had no reaction at all. So clearly, your results may vary. Good luck.

We're in no big rush to get it, since getting it doesn't yet mean that your life gets to return to a pre-COVID normal.

35 years is a pretty good run for a dryer. If you have to replace it, I suggest doing so quickly before the Biden EPA requires that your new one mandates that clothes be hung outside on a string.

And yes, smoke from under the hood is never a good sign.

scamorama said...

Ladybug's getting the "Big Dog" TPLO, which is also the more-expensive one.
My Wolf Chow had one, but they used titanium plates on her leg.

The surgery went well, but she didn't care for the 3 months of crate confinement that followed.

Good luck with it.

Bill from Wood-Ridge said...

Dear Stiltonian: Thank you for your thrice=weekly missives. Always a highlight of my day. We had to put our refrigerator down two years ago after 29 years of faithful meritorious service. Our Magic Chef dishwasher is still going strong after 31 year.

Fish Out of Water said...

To add to the tsunami of bad news, the WSJ reports DOJ has dropped the suit against Yale, started by the Trump administration over alleged discrimination against Asians.


Believe that and I'll offer time shares for a couple of bridges across the Potomac.

Colby Muenster said...

"So you think you got the jump on me, eh Smithers!? You just wait 'til I pull out my 'big gun.'"


Sorry to hear about your rash of mechanical issues. The good news is, dryers are fairly simple machines, so repairs should be affordable, should you go that route. And the Camry sounds like nothing more than a leaky seal or gasket. Smoke coming from the tailpipe is the thing to dread.

As an engineer, I can't help myself; I'm usually not mister know it all. Mr. Pit Bull will likely be getting a titanium plate, not steel. However, IMO, titanium is even more badass!

And in national news, it appears the Dims are going to shove another two trillion in pork down our throats... again. Just guessing there will be some real doozies in this so called "stimulus" bill, like billions for cities with failed, Democrat run economies, Planned Un-parenthood, Illegal immigrants, gulags for conservatives, etc.

And in today's trivia, The FBI received over 4 million background check requests for gun purchases in January. A new record. Buy 'em while you can folks!

The good news is, my local, state run booze store now carries Clan MacGregor! Kinda funny though; it's in the section with cheap scotch, NOT in the section with the 65+ dollar bottles of single malt.

Glenda T Goode said...

I dearly hope your Vet, Dryer technician and mechanic are not liberal drones.....

All you would hear if you ask why did this happen is:

It's all Trump's fault!!!!!!!

As to the vaccinations....I am in that age group that should. However, I am going to take my chances and not get that vaccine.

I trust my ability to remain aloof and out of the main stream.......

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@TrickyRicky- Now THAT movie has a hardcore ending and is as "noir" as film noir can get. Great film!

@MiamiSean- Looks like we're getting the Pfizer shot under the "beggars can't be choosers" rule. The trick will be making sure that the SECOND shot is also Pfizer, because mixing and matching vaccines is further than I'm willing to go.

@Sortahwitte- Great summary of your current events!

@Fish Out of Water- The Camry is definitely worth preserving and should have a lot of life left in it. Unless it doesn't. In any event, we won't be looking at new (or new-ish) cars anytime soon. There's 3 of us here, with 3 cars, and none of us really has anywhere to go.

@Old Scrapper- Things are going moderately well today, all considered. I had a blood draw for an upcoming doctor appointment, but I don't think the phlebotomist was able to stick a tracker in me...I watched her pretty closely (grin).

@CetTexTim- Thanks for the tip on the collars. I'll definitely look into that since there's nothing sadder than a dog wearing the cone of shame.

@jrblack- Solid as Sears, baby! Or actually, more solid it would seem...

@John the Econ- Oh, we know the shot(s) won't return our lives to normal. We don't believe that our lives will return to normal ever. But some of the new variants out there are awfully nasty- way more contagious and quite possibly more lethal. The vaccines MAY be a help, so that's a reason to move quickly in my book (the variants will be the dominant strains very soon). Additionally, the "long haul" effects of Covid-19 aren't well understood, but it's known that somewhere between 10% to 25% of people (even asymptomatic ones) may suffer longterm damage to lungs, kidneys, liver, or (in the case of conservatives) brains.

@scamorama- Yep, TPLO is what we're talking about and "more expensive" is no freaking exaggeration. And the vet definitely told me it would be a steel plate; for what I'll be paying, I hope he's not pawning off a less-than-titanium substitute!

@Bill from Wood-Ridge- Last year (which reminds me, "F*ck you, 2020!") the refrigerator we had forever gave up the ghost and we had to quickly replace it (great fun during times of plague). The fancy-shmancy expensive refrigerator we got to replace it is a complete pain in the ass to use, but happily the installers assured me that I probably won't have to put up with it for more than five years or so, because that's how long new appliances last now.

@Fish Out of Water- So Biden is signing executive orders to prevent anti-Asian discrimination while his DOJ essentially greenlights discriminating against them when it really matters. I'm increasingly losing confidence in this new administration and the horse it rode in on.

REM1875 said...

Have Ya thought about an environmentally friendly solar dryer ?
Wait till ya see the look in her eyes as you explain that it is really a solar dryer and not a clothes line .......

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Colby Muenster- Two trillion in Democrat pork is exactly the kind of news that is killing me these days. And they'll just ram it through with reconciliation or whatever twisted process they can come up with. The news about the background checks puts a smile on my face, though.

Regarding Clan MacGregor, if you're looking to spend $65 it won't be with the other bottles of scotch - you'll have to go to the part of the store that sells kegs.

@Glenda T Goode- I'm not discussing politics with any tradespeople unless they signal their position first and it's NOT liberal. Otherwise, I can expect to be overcharged and have my car, dryer, or dog saboutaged.

Good luck with not getting the vaccine. But then again, not many viruses can get through that magic bubble that floats you around Oz, right?

Fish Out of Water said...

@ Stilton: " I'm increasingly losing confidence in this new administration and the horse it rode in on."

Am I to assume you had even a smidgen of confidence with the Obama sock puppet to begin with? ;-)

Dan said...

Mrs Dan and I got the Moderna shot last week. Now we have to get the second jab around the end of the month.
The things we do to be able to travel from coastal Georgia to central-ish Minnesota to visit grand kids.

DougM said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
DougM said...

I'll skip the personal and get right to the expected:
Moriarity: Forget it, Holmes, I heard you shooting the initials "VR" into the wall, again, so you're pistol is empty
Homes: Ahh, but professor, you're making the classic mistake of assuming I don't have another pistol in my pocket
Homes: Ahh, Colonel Moran, perhaps you hadn't noticed that I removed the CO2 cartridge from your air gun
• Holmes regretted letting Watson go off to the theatre alone tonight
Homes: Ahh, I see you've returned from voting in Afghanistan, professor
Homes: No, Watson, I do not consent to a Chinese anal Covid test. Now back off!
• The actors made the fatal mistake of not double-checking their prop firearms beforehand
• I'm sorry, Stilton, but there can be only one Seventh-Place in Pookies Toons Best 2020 Cartoon contest.
• etc.

SpectreRider said...

Many frontline health-care workers are declining a vaccine they don't need. No need for a shot if you've already had covid.

Bobo said...

This is my weapon,
this is my gun. (as he caresses his crotch)
One is for killing,
the other for fun.

Will Hepburn said...

For any of your who knew him, MSG-Grumpy, AKA Ken Zalga, who turned me on to Stilt's blog, died on Monday. He will be missed.

Colby Muenster said...

@Will Hepburn,

Sad news indeed. Thanks for letting us know; he will be missed.

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

(hoists a shot for Grumpy) To absent friends.

Anonymous said...

You didn't perhaps drop a bank statement the last time you were in the vet's office for shots; did you?

Reminds me of a much longer story long ago about a friends experience with his "pound" puppy and family over many months up to dog age with a long string of vet visits. The finale of his story was about how the dog was "depressed" & needed further treatment. The last line of the his telling was, "The Dog is depressed? My Ass. I'M depressed".

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Will Hepburn & Everyone- I am so sorry to learn of MSG Grumpy's death. DAMN this year! He was a longtime member of the inner circle around here and a valued voice. I'm sorry I never got to meet him in real life, but am grateful for the time we shared here electronically. Will, please pass along my condolences to Ken's family and friends.

igor said...

Oh man! First thing I do ia log into my laptop, come here, and see MSG Grumpy has shuffled off this mortal coil! 2021 is really sucky so far.

Sir, I hardly knew you, but appreciated you very much. Thank you profusely for your service, both as a Military man, and as a Civilian (PCS)!