Monday, July 24, 2023

The Wind Between My Cheeks

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, travel, time off

Look! Up in the sky! It's a bird! It's a plane! No, it's...oh wait, it is a plane - with me white-knuckling it to my final destination, which hopefully has an airport waiting. 

And actually, I'm not traveling yet, but will be in a few days. So I wanted to warn everyone that I'll probably be absent from this space for a couple of weeks (although I'll try to visit the comments section if and when I can) and let you know you shouldn't worry about it.  Because I'm more than capable of doing all the worrying myself.

Mind you, I don't worry at all about flying. It's CRASHING that I worry about. A lot. True fact: I have never dosed on an airplane, even on a long flight, because I know in my soul that if I let my guard down the jet's wings will fall off. 

But even apart from that, I can now also worry about catching whatever mutant strain of Fauci's covid is currently making the rounds or encountering some of the crazies who have recently been disrupting flights while having psychotic breaks or violent hallucinations. Mind you, I have those same conditions but I at least keep my seatbelt on and my mouth shut.

And truthfully, I've got more anxiety than usual about traveling because I've become a pathological social recluse since losing my wife, Kathy. Social interactions are hard for me now, and I'm embarking on a week of them. Which my therapist considers brave, but she may just be saying that because I'll return home needing another year of PTSD therapy.

Plus, Kathy was always the person who handled details and organization flawlessly when preparing for a trip. On my own, thick fog fills my brain and I find myself struggling to decide whether or not to pack those whatchamacallits...hang's on the tip of my tongue...oh, yeah - clothes. And medications. And 17 different kinds of USB cables. And a white noise machine. And...and... no, I think that's everything I need, right?



"Try That In A Small Town" song - I like it and screw anyone who says it's racist.

• AI Czar Kamala Harris recently clarified this complex and ever-changing technology by explaining that "AI is two letters." I'm so relieved that she's representing mankind at this critical moment.

• I currently need to renew my driver's license in person which is now done only by appointment here in Texas ("Avoiding long lines by not letting you in at all!"). I tried to get an appointment two months before my license will expire and none were available - the best I could do was a week later and 18 miles away. Which I'm assuming I shouldn't drive to without a license, so I'll need to ask someone for a ride. I tried calling the license bureau for help, but their phone message says to use the online service. The online service offers no help but lets you send an email which they'll respond to in 3-5 business days. Currently, it's been over two weeks with no word back. This is unbelievably annoying and would be unthinkable customer abuse if practiced by any business which wanted to avoid bankruptcy. If I ever get far enough in the process to get a new license picture taken, you can bet your *ss that I'll be scowling and, if I get away with it, giving the finger.


Julian said...

Just fly those friendly skies, brother, and leave your worries behind. Unless, of course, you see a smiling creature on the wingtip trying to dislodge an engine, and in that case, what the hell, order a drink and snooze. Seriously, I hope you have a good time and ignore the news and other shyte for your time away. We will be here waiting for you and praying for only good things for you.

Mike aka Proof said...

"I'm assuming I shouldn't drive to without a license..."
Go for it! "My friend Body dropped me and my pickup off this morning!".
They'll never know the difference (Or care!) Time before last, it was about a month late before I realized it was overdue! They'd sent my renewal notice to a cancelled PO box.
Show up. Take your test. Smile pretty for the camera!

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

I got no problems with flying, even though I'm a DOT licenced Airframe and Powerplant Technician and am intimately acquainted with just how readily the damned thing can break up in midair.

No, my problems are with check-in and security Kabuki at the security checkpoint. Once I'm at the gate, I'm fine.

As for renewals, as long as you swear up and down you haven't been driving except to the DMV, they're perfectly OK here in NW Arkansas...

Anyhow, enjoy your trip and return tanned, rested and ready. :D

coldsharav said...

You are completely correct in your understanding of staying awake snd concentrating on keeping those stupid things aloft. The more people who do it, the better. People who sleep on flights are silly- and selfish.

Dan said...

Shouldn't drive without a license? No problemo! Haven't you watched Cops or On Patrol Live?

Have a good trip.

Bones said...

Without Artificial Intellegence,your president in charge of Vice would have NO intelligence at all.Enjoy your flight and remember if you don't have a licence,they can't take it off you.

Rod said...

Stolen from some cartoon a while back. Sorry; I have no credit:

Nervous first-time passenger asks the flight attendant: How many times do these airplanes crash? Attendant politely answers: "Only once."

Just keep your bags a little shy of the weight limit; many of their scales lie. Observe carry-on limitations or lose it. Window or Aisle as you please; but middle seat sucks. Get to airport comfortably early; and pee every chance you get. If needed, don't forget your passport

I'm VERY experienced at this over the years and still here; have a great trip. Really; no worries.

DougM said...

My advice for flying:
keep it real.
We don't wanna hear about another
TMFINR incident.

jimbro said...

I was able to renew my license online which was a shock to me since they usually make me do it in person. The vision test has been needed every time. About 10 years ago my Neurologist recommended a driving evaluation for a chronic condition just to make sure I'd be in the clear if I ever did have an accident. It was easy, just drive slow, obey traffic laws and turn your head to look when making turns or backing up. The registry officer told me they repeat the tests every so often which is why I was surprised I was able to renew online. I even contacted the DMV after the application went through and got confirmation that is was OK. I printed the response from them and kept it just in case.

beegee said...

FYI: My Texas driver's license expired in Sept. I followed the instructions when I got the letter thinking the DMV would give me an appointment in August. I got the letter sometime in April and they gave me an appointment for May. They needed identification, and by some fluke they thought I needed my birth certificate or a passport which shocked me as I could not get a drivers license when I moved to Texas from out of state and had to show my birth certificate. It was all straighten out, and when my number was called (about 1 hour after my appt.), I went up to the clerk to do the requiredd paperwork. Another surprise - they took my thumb prints. I don't know why and didn't ask. I just wanted out of there.

This was the first time since I moved to Texas,
about 12 years ago, and got my Texas drivers license that I couldn't renew on line.

Anonymous said...

A few years ago (prior to Covid), my driver's license had just expired that month when I had to take a flight. I had the paper copy while the new one was being sent. The ticket counter gave me a bunch of trouble over that because I had no other ID with photo on it but finally relented and let me fly (I had to promise not to fly the plane). Now I travel with a valid passport, even when I am not leaving the country.

So just in case, a back up picture ID might be worth having on person when boarding.

I hope you have a great time where ever your destination is.

Durfield said...

I don’t know about Texas, but here in Connecticut we can renew our driver’s license at any AAA office which is far better than the DMV.

Bruce Bleu said...

It is such a comfort that Kameltoe Whorris (of 'secure the border' and 'AI' fame) is on the job, (as opposed to her 'on the knob' history, which provided her with a political career).
As far as your drivers license, you need to move to Colorado. I have been driving in this state for 45 years and have yet to take but ONE drivers examination! I give them 18 bucks, (it's a buck more to get my motorcycle endorsement), they just snap my ugly physiognomy and issue a new license! Granted the drivers here seem to know exactly JACK about 'rules of the road', they get a new DL regularly without delay and have a 60 day grace period if they don't get a renewal before the old one turns into a pumpkin. Tell Kameltoe that 'Al' (Abbreviation for "Avoid lines") is ALSO two letters.

Regarding your little getaway, take respite from the stress of travel with our experience in the "Fiendly [sic] Skies"... my wife and I have flown from here to England 22 times and other destinations near the same number without a hint of turmoil. Never saw William Shatner's gremlin on even one occasion.

Thank you for your consistent wisdom and good humor dispensed over the last 15 years, I'm sure I speak for everyone who read "H&C" and "SP".

JP said...

I lived in Texas from early 2004 to early 2016 (first Burleson, then Alvarado). Moved there from Louisiana, and found I had a hold on my DL because of a lapse in insurance coverage, and it took some time for me to clear it up and save money for the fines involved (a [curse]word to my now long forgotten agent, who forgot to mail me a renew in time, lucky me, and I was nearly bankrupt but [long story/rant deleted]) and once I did, Texas wanted me to take classes and a test to maintain my motorcycle endorsement for even more money that I didn't have (20+ years riding and having an endorsement elsewhere? Who cares, PAY UP) and my bike was, by then, my only form of transportation. Glad Texas doesn't require an in-state DL to register vehicles. In fact, I only ever once had to show a DL/ID at the courthouse when dealing with a registration. I paid with a debit card as I hadn't pulled the cash out, and they wanted to see ID, because they didn't have the self scan keypads. When I moved to Michigan (job moved) I transferred my DL from Louisiana and my Registrations from Texas.

Neighbor Dave said...

The good news is, you have up to 2 yrs after your license expires to get a new one. Making an appointment online is the way to go. A little confusing, but I got an appointment in 3 weeks.
Still had to drive 30 mi., but it was a nice day. Upon arriving Typical BS paperwork, did need my passport, I'd only been licensed in TX 30 yrs., and they did thumbprint. But the gals behind the plexiglass were in a good mood, they said because of the appointment implementation , but I was the only one in the office.
Happy trails, I'm not to fond of flying anymore myself. It's like a sardine can of ????
I always take my passport. I did Trusted Traveler before covid and opted for the extra $50 for one that fits in my wallet.

JP said...

Oh, and I forgotted.
My Michigan DL expired during the Wuhan Sino Middle Kingdom Lung Rot BS, and Whitless the Wonder Stasi, runs Michigan, so . . . Appointments, Online, or Mail-in. BUT they did give additional time to complete it so no fines for however long after expiration (forget, but a month or more), but mine was an Enhanced DL (for those who don't know, that allows crossing into Canukistan or Mexico, some Carib places too iirc without a Passport) and for that it was either appointment and associated MOPP 4 etc or mail-in. No online renewal. I mailed mine, and it took 2 weeks, but still beat the expiration.
Not sure, but I think they've gone back to walk-in at the local DMV. Ours isn't too bad, but we are not a populous area with just 23,500 people in the county.

Murphy(AZ) said...

First, "in person" driver's license renewals have only one reason: to prove you are alive. The original intent was to use DLs to determine who could maybe be removed from voter rolls, though many states never got that far. Here in Arizona, we are required to show we are alive for our 65th birthday. Before that, we might go twenty or thirty years without renewing.

A couple years ago, I took my significant other in for her renewal, even though she is legally blind and hasn't driven in years. There was no actual driving test, the written test was "open book", no time limit, and she was allowed to have someone help with the test since she was "visually impaired". Her license was renewed, but she has to wear corrective lenses.

Did I mention SHE'S BLIND?

Anonymous said...

The DL office in Seguin has a terminal where you can get an appointment ... the nice man helped me and I got an appointment for the next day. I could not get the on-line software to work at home ... stay safe.

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

On the subject of airline horror stories, I flew to Florida last year.

The plane was late owing to weather, so everyone at the gate could see the movable gate and a distinct lack of airplane.

Being bored and in a puckish mood, I commenced to surveying my fellow passengers.

We quickly decided that a) Wonder Woman's invisible jet was parked there and b) it was most rude of her not to let us on for a ride. :D said...


Take along a word search or kubok book to take your mind off flying. It does wonders.

Lee The Voice said...

Airplanes: Don't worry, they're the safest way to fly. (not counting some experiments some of us did in the late '60s)
We have to have an appointment here in Montana as well, which causes long lines at the Preparation H counter.

John the Econ said...

The statistics are pretty clear that your odds of slipping to death in your home are far greater that that of dying on a commercial flight. Back when I was a GA pilot, people used to ask me if I was worried about flying. My response was always, "I'm more worried about the drive to the airport".

But I still don't blame you for having anxiety regarding flying. Although for me it's not the fear of the wings falling off but over the whole experience to begin with, starting from the booking process to long after landing at my destination. Up until about 20 years ago I was a road warrior, taking at least a trip a month. But as the demand for that waned and after the passing of my parents, I would have been fine with never boarding a commercial flight ever again. Flying post 911 has become near torture.

However, your fear of pathogens is far more real. During all those years flying, I found that most of my illnesses occurred 48 hours after returning home. After figuring that out, I adopted my "protocol" which included consciously not touching any surface upon arriving at the airport, washing my hands at every opportunity, not touching my face, and taking a long, hot shower asap upon arriving at my destination. My rates of infection went down noticeably after that. (Although that didn't stop me from bringing home the Wuhan Flu after my last and first trip after COVID. But then again, I was just as likely to get it going to my local Costco)

As for the state of behavior in public places these days, I can't offer much in the way of useful advice. Just try to remain the adult in any situation and write off any insanity you may witness to the success of Progressivism.

Try That In A Small Town: If someone thinks that song is racist, that's entirely on them.

But the whole kerfuffle over TTIAST is a perfect example of the Streisand Effect at work. Musically it's average at best for the genre, but the lyrics hit home. Few beyond Jason Aldean's core audience would have even been aware of this song until the left discovered it and went apoplectic. Now millions who never knew who Jason Aldean was and/or never would have heard it otherwise have, and they agree with it. The left who automatically associates violent crime and the burning of cities with race have again exposed their racism. And by folding to the woke mob by pulling the video, "Country Music Television" has lost hundreds of millions of dollars and is getting the Bud Light treatment. (Unfortunately, it's impossible for me to boycott CMT any more than I already do as I largely tuned out of country 20 years ago)

So another unforced error by the left and another victory for the silent majority who agree with the sentiment of this song. Roughly nine months from now, right on schedule, the Democrats will be deploying their election year "The cities will burn!" narrative if America does to vote to their liking. Expect this song to become the counter-anthem to that which resonates with the "normals".

If I was an up-and-coming country star, I'd be in the studio today with my new song, "Don't try to trans my kids you perverts!"

Kamala the AI Czar: No doubt she will be as successful as she was with solving the "border crisis". I'm less than convinced that Kamala is not an AI experiment gone really wrong. I doubt she could even pass the Turing Test.

DMV: Can't wait until these people are running my heath care.

Cisco Kid said...

Hey Stilton, just a quick heads up...
You will most likely need a CURRENT driver's license as your ID at the airport. I know this sounds crazy, but look at who's running the country...
I would suggest you bring along your passport (assuming you have one and IT is current) if the outdated driver's license does not work.

TrickyRicky said...

As per many previous comments, don't worry about the airplane or pilots. I don't think there are too many AA hires in the cockpit...yet? Just keep your eyes open for insane/drunk fellow passengers. They are the really scary part of the process.

I lived in Houston for about a year and a half right out of university. Never got a license since I knew I would be scooting back to Colorado as soon as I could.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Julian- Eons ago, my Dad took my older brother (maybe about 10 years old) along on a short business trip just so he could experience flying. The night before the flight, the whole family was watching The Twilight Zone and saw what was likely the debut showing of "Nightmare at 20,000 Feet." Classic timing!

@Mike aka Proof- See, I'd like to know if there's some paperwork (like my appointment confirmation) that could be shown to a cop during the week my license is expired, but I can't even get through to anyone to ask the question. You literally cannot speak to anyone by phone. *ssholes.

@M. Mitchell Marmel- Thank you for confirming my fears about crumbling aircraft. And my colorful journey is taking me to (drum roll) Indiana, so I'm less likely to come back with a tan than coming back with lyme disease.

@coldsharav- Exactly! The more other people snooze and screw around, the harder the rest of us have to use our telekinetic powers to keep the damn thing in the air! We put the "dynamic" in aerodynamics!

@Dan- I used to love watching "COPS" before it got pulled for being politically incorrect. I always figured that if I ever got pulled over and saw a COPS film crew with the officer, I'd do something extravagantly weird (but not dangerous) to try to make it on the air.

True story: on one of the very rare occasions I was stopped by a cop - late at night - he told me to open my car's trunk. I swallowed hard and then said "I WILL open my trunk, but first you should know that it will look like I have a dead body in there, but it isn't really. Heh-heh." And yes, I had a rubber corpse back there. Where was the film crew when I needed them?

@Bones- I swear, hearing Kamala declare that "AI is two letters" made me despair for humanity.

@Rod- Great joke! I can't wait to find out if my seatmates have heard it!

@DougM- If someone gets hysterical on my flight, I might have to intercede. I'm a bit "touchy" while in the air.

@jimbro- I don't expect a problem renewing if I can ever get into the furshlugginer office.

Colby Muenster said...

Just Curious, Stilton... what is your final destination? I hope it's for pleasure rather than business. Either way, here's hoping you don't have to white knuckle your way through the whole flight. Maybe they'll have Clan MacGregor on the beverage cart!

DMV's are proof that Satan exists. Their appointment system must be the same in every state. A grandson made an appointment a couple months in advance to get his first license. When the date rolled around, I drove him there, and there was a big sign on the door saying "no appointments this week." I really badly wanted to go back to the car and grab my 9mm and let someone know that, yes, there ARE appointments this week! Just kidding about the 9mm, BTW.

Kamala... If we think the worlds bad actors are emboldened by Biden, imagine if she took over. Hell, we'd probably get invaded by Luxembourg or Monaco.

CMT, Bud Light, Target, Disney, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera... Are normal people finally getting fed up enough with lefties running things to finally take a stand? I pray so! I've "boycotted" all these businesses for years, mostly because they offer nothing I want, but I'm on board way more now. Sean Hannity has always said he doesn't support boycotts because it hurts the people who work for those companies. Fair enough, but those people can get other jobs with companies who desire EVERYBODY'S business.

Shelly said...

Like you, I was ordered to appear in person to renew my DL here in North Texas. I went through the whole rigamarole of making an appointment and finally got one (in the most inconvenient place) before my license expired. What I didn't expect was to have to wait in a long line outside the building and then once inside I waited even longer in the chairs. The DMV is the perfect example of government ineptitude. Unfortunately, we cannot do ANYTHING without a license.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@beegee- I think I can find my birth certificate but I don't think I've ever had a passport. 70 years old and never out of the United States, with less incentive to go anywhere every year.

@Anonymous- I don't think I have any backup ID with a picture on it. If they need to see something, this is going to be a very short trip!

@Durfield- As far as I know, that's not an option in Texas. Dang it.

@Bruce Bleu- Moving to another state sounds exhausting so I'll try to see the process through here in Texas one more time. Hopefully this time my new license will outlive me!

@JP- See, it's the "surprises" that I worry about. When I've watched COPS on TV, I often note that I couldn't pass a field sobriety test for physical coordination on my best day and stone-cold sober. I have bad ankles (although they got me into Ripley's Believe It Or Not, which is a different story).

@Neighbor Dave- I hope that there's a grace period like you describe, but I don't want to bet on it.

@JP- I live in a very populated area so the DMV is ALWAYS busy. A handful of walk-in appointments are available each day, but you have to line up at about 4:30 a.m. and IF they still have any appointments when you make it in the door, you'll be told when to come back later in the day. I just don't have the stamina or patience for that kind of sh*t anymore.

@Murphy(AZ)- I'm pretty sure I've seen your wife driving around here. What confuses me is why she's always driving a different car?

@Anonymous- Wait, "a terminal where you can get an appointment" for "the next day" and a "nice man helped" you? It's like a wonderful fairytale!

@M. Mitchell Marmel- The question for me is what passengers in other jets see when Wonder Woman is at altitude and using her invisible bathroom?

@Dpdionne62- Oh, I'll take some sort of distraction with me. A long time ago, I'd prep for a flight by dropping in to the local library and buying a few copies of Reader's Digest for a dime an issue. Unfortunately, it seemed like every issue had a story about a harrowing plane disaster. Still, I've got to go to the library today anyway so maybe I'll take a look for old time's sake (is Reader's Digest even a thing anymore?).

@Anonymous- I'm very sorry about the loss of your mother. How wonderful that she was sharp and active as long as she was!

@Lee The Voice- Your line about "the safest way to fly" got a grin out of me. Well played, sir.

@John the Econ- To be honest, while I'm anxious about flying it's only one piece of the puzzle. I fret about airport drives, about checking in, about keeping track of the luggage, about the flight itself, about finding the rental car place, about driving several hours once I get to my destination, about finding the hotel, about checking in, about bedbugs, and more. Neurotic? Me? Well, yeah. But doing the whole barnacle thing isn't working wonders for me either, so this seems worth a try.

I agree that "Try That In A Small Town" would be largely unknown if racist Lefties didn't have a panic attack about it. I agree that the song itself isn't really exceptional but I like the message in the lyrics. And frankly, except for the twangy vocal the song is classic rock to my ears.

And I completely agree that if Kamala couldn't pass the Turing Test. She spouts absolutely obvious things that don't really go anywhere.

@Cisco Kid- My license will still be current for my trip, thankfully.

@TrickyRicky- Being a "nervous" flier, I won't put up with drunks or lunatics very long. I'm a doughy old man, but if I'm not in the mood to be f*cked with in mid-air, I'll happily tackle anybody.

MAJ Arkay said...

Stilt, when I couldn't get an appointment until a month after my DL expired, I went to my local DMV office first thing in the morning and joined the "no appointments" line waiting for the office to open. Walked in, entered my data in the kiosk, and got one of their few walk-in appts that day. I had printed out the application form, carried my current DL, my passport, my Social Security card, my voter ID card, and my DD-214 (to get "veteran" added to the license). Figured more documentation was better than not enough.

It worked. Got my license renewed that day, and the system automatically cancelled my appointment way in the future.

Key is you have to keep showing up at o'dark early until you get one of those walk-in appointments.

JustaJeepGuy said...

@Stilt, just think--120 years ago, nobody was afraid to fly. Then those darn Wright brothers had to go and mess around.

John the Econ said...

@Colby Muenster said, "DMV's are proof that Satan exists."

Actually, the Clintons are proof that Satan exists. The DMV is just proof that government monopolies are worse than private ones. (At least the private ones have to deliver some sort of product or service to get paid)

As for @Stinton's upcoming trip:

'Bet You Wish You Had Listened To The Safety Presentation Now, Eh?' Says Smug Stewardess As Plane Plummets Toward The Ground

MacD said...

If it's anything like where I live, the odds of being stopped by the police are about par with being struck by lightning.

NaCly Dog said...


Flying is safer. It's the driving that is dangerous. Well, and th odd ponytailed blond yoga teachers. Just say you are 10 years older than you are now, with $10 million dollars more than you have. You can take it from there.

Bon Voyage,
Ad astra per aspera.
Have a great time.

See you when you get back.

mamafrog said...

I hate flying, with a violent purple passion! I've only done it about 6 or so times, from a little prop job (I got truly ill and had to use the little bags which looked as old as I was at the time.) to a couple of the big jets. United Airlines is crap, Southwest isn't too bad. I'm on the larger and shorter side so the flight from Washington to Oklahoma where I got crammed between two football player size guys was interesting. We were all squished in those seats, lol.

My last flight was a long flight and a short hop, Washington to Dallas to OKC. My youngest daughter and BIL (Down's Syndrome) and I flew back. They were fine and I white knuckled it. The worst parts? He got diarrhea in the airport waiting area (fortunately I had extra clothes, just threw the old ones away) and my stomach wasn't much better.There was a truly weird middle aged couple in matching dungarees and shirts who kept giving us disapproving looks. We almost missed the connecting flight, we were supposed to have someone meeting us with a wheelchair to get us from one flight to the other. Got the chair but no person, we finally decided to head out ourselves as they were holding the other flight for us. That was fun! A wheelchair on one of those moving sidewalks at a running pace (me, not the sidewalk) is an absolute blast. At least he and I thought so.

One thing, get you some of those wipes that have alcohol and put them in your pocket, a la Mr. Monk. They can be a lifesaver and extremely handy.

Thank goodness Oklahoma isn't too bad for a license. I had to learn to drive again when my husband died. Tried to get an appointment twice to take the driving test and someone kindly told me why I couldn't get it. Had to clear and old fine and ticket off my record from twenty years before and I had honestly forgotten about it. Then I failed the driving test twice. My brother took me out in his car, made me practice, and then took me to a city near us that had a reputation for being easier to pass, got my license on the first try! Nicer person too.

Had to renew my license this year and deal with re-titling my car because of issues. We finally went to a tag agency that has a good reputation for getting people in and out and actually knowing what they are doing, we had been told several different things and weren't sure what was going on. Had it all done in about 30 minutes. In Oklahoma you can find an official tag agency everywhere that deals with that kind of thing, doing the test is handled by the state agency so it's harder.

Have a nice trip try to enjoy it!

H. Biden said...

I don't know what all the fuss around Drivers License is about. I just told my Pa I needed one and it arrived the same day, delivered by the FBI. Am I one lucky guy?

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@MAJ Arkay- It's not impossible that I'll give in and show up at the DMV at 5 in the effing morning in HOPES of getting an appointment later in the day, but I usually get up about 9 a.m. and don't leave the house until my coffee and colon have performed their morning magic. Which strikes me as the DMV making my life a shitload harder than it needs to be.

Still, I checked and if I'm caught driving with an expired license it's a bad thing. Automatic $200 fine with an additional $100/year for three years AND a possibility of jail time. And who knows what it would to do my insurance.

@JustaJeepGuy- True fact: I'm a distant relative of the Wright brothers. But do I get a discount on airfare? I do not.

@John the Econ- The Clintons ARE proof that Satan exists. Although these days, pretty much EVERYthing is proof that Satan exists. Other deities, I'm less sure about.

@MacD- And yet, people do get struck by lightning. And my luck hasn't been all that great in recent years.

@NaCly Dog- At this point in my life, I don't think I could be old enough or rich enough for any yoga teachers to take interest.

@mamafrog- Thanks for the somewhat humorous picture of the wheelchair roaring down a moving walkway. That DOES sound exhilerating! And I'm definitely taking some little alcohol wipes. And facemasks, although less for covid and more in case I'm seated by someone sneezing and wheezing.

@H. Biden- I think your dime bag of cocaine showed up too. Be sure to ask around for it!

mamafrog said...

Stilt, I'm a (very) distant relative of Amelia Earhart, maybe that's why I'm afraid of flying? Never thought of that! And deep water, and heights. Yeah, I'm a frickin' bundle of neurosis.

Elbarto said...

Not only "Try That in a Small Town," the wokistas are now taking issue with Toby Keith & Willie Nelson's "Beer for My Horses." Apparently, they don't like criminals receiving justice under any circumstances.

John the Econ said...

@Elbarto, I've never been able to understand the Progressive drive to sympathize with evil over the victims. Or worse, elevate the perpetrators of evil over the victims of evil.

If you turn George Floyd an angel, what can't you rationalize?

Colby Muenster said...

Hope you made it to your destination without your blood pressure getting to 300/200!

Speaking of blood pressure, what are the odds of Devon Archer surviving Sunday night?

Brie Camembert said...

@John the Econ said -
I've never been able to understand the Progressive drive to sympathize with evil over the victims. Or worse, elevate the perpetrators of evil over the victims of evil.

Quite simply, the Progressives ARE evil.

SirKnob said...

Random flying thoughts

Flying lessons are free. It is the landing lessons that are going to cost you.

When flying, the only time that you can have too much fuel is when you are on fire.

A good landing is any landing that you can walk away from. A great landing is any landing that allows you to reuse the aircraft.

A good reason to become an airplane mechanic is that pilots need heroes too.

Don Rasmussen said...

Only ONE finger?!! Stilt, I'm disappointed. LoL