Monday, March 11, 2024

Clock Blocker

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, Biden, DST, daylight saving time, shrinkflation

Showing renewed energy, vitality, and wildly-dilated pupils, Joe Biden vigorously and youthfully urged the voters of Pennsylvania to go to the polls in November to send him to Congress. He also warned the crowd that January 6th was another Alabama, which is hard - no, impossible - to argue with. Go on, I dare you.

But he's fine, just fine. And we shouldn't really read too much into a slip of the tongue. Surely he meant to say that January 6th was another banana

Not that Joe did a lot better in his apparently meth-augmented State of the Union speech. Among the highlights, he diminished the brutal murder of Laken Riley by saying that "Lincoln (sic) was an innocent young woman who was killed by an illegal. But how many thousands of people being killed by legals?" Yeah, how many DO be killed? I assume that Biden's ebonics moment was simply a calculated call-out to Black voters. And it's good to know that we can call border-jumping killers "illegals" again.

Joe also declared that in his next term he would, by gum, end cancer as we know it! Frankly, I'd prefer that he just end cancer period - not just "as we know it." He may only have his eye on introducing an exciting New Cancer featuring "metastasis like you've never seen it before!" But we know that Joe is the man for this job because he was given the same job by Obama back in 2016.  Joe spearheaded the "Cancer Moonshot" program, the success of which we would all likely remember if there had been any.

Joe also declared that our military was being tasked with building a new, temporary pier in Gaza so we can bring in humanitarian aid by ship because it would be superior to doing it by air. A point he subsequently underscored with an air drop of humanitarian supplies that crushed multiple people waiting on the ground below. Subtle, Joe.


Mike aka Proof said...

With Joe, it's pee-er pressure, which is why he wears Depends!

JustaJeepGuy said...

I thought I read that Gropey Joe referred to "July 6th", when he mumbled his way through his speech asking Pennsylvania to send him to Congress. I could be mistaken because I can't listen to Gropey Joe speak since I don't have a secret JoeSpeak Decoder ring--or a translator.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Mike aka Proof- I'll bet he squishes when he walks.

#JustaJeepGuy- You're right that he DID say "July 6th" and then changed it to "January 6th" and then changed both of them to Alabama and started talking about in vitro fertilization. Vitro, apparently, being a small town in Nevada where you can get that kind of thing done.

Alan said...

You're a genius at making those cartoons Stilt. They're hilarious. I wish Joe would leave cancer alone. It's bad enough already. Joe also said he was going to give Medicare the authority to negotiate prescription drug prices. That concerns me. We'll be getting prescription drugs made by Hunter in Joe's garage with the help of a few illegal immigrants from Uganda while he's not creating master piece art paintings.

Maoz said...

Stilt, I think we all know that ham is not kosher. Seeing the comment at 5:04 above, I'll just note that adding an "Il" in front of it doesn't change that fact.

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

I'm minded of that old joke which goes, "When you're out of slits, you're out of pier!"

Considering our President is an ancient joke, I figure that's appropos...

Snark said...

There is a strong correlation between high glycemic foods such as ice cream and elderly dementia - to the point that Alzheimer's is regarded as type 3 Diabetes. (There is no prerequisite for having either types 1 or 2.) Apparently Obiden's family "doctor" is either unaware of this or perhaps Brandon is more controllable in his usual condition, rather than after a cocktail such as the one Hunter put together for him prior to the STOU. While correlation isn't causation, other than when he is mumbling through a speech, he typically has an ice cream cone in his face.

I would say "God help us" if the idiot is re-elected. But unfortunately my expectation is that God would let us "enjoy" (endure) our choice.

Murphy(AZ) said...

I'm only ex-Air Force, so maybe there's something here that is beyond my understanding.

Gropin' Joe wants our Army to build a port in Gaza so we (who else?) can ship more supplies in for Hamas to steal and sell on the black market. He says the army has a boat (the ARMY has a boat?) that they will send in to accomplish this task without setting foot on land in the process, because that might be dangerous.


Now, if it's dangerous to put U.S. troops ON the land, 'cause Hamas and Hezbohah have rockets and other spoldy toys, isn't it pretty much just as dangerous to put them NEXT to the land?

And back to my AF roots, why don't we holler out whatever the Arabic equivalent of "HEADS UP!" is, airdrop the Ikea Home Harbor kit close to the water's edge, and let the Palestinians put it together themselves?

Anonymous said...

Here in beautiful Arizona, we don’t play that stupid game! As for “fiery” Joe, what a sad spectacle that was. Sixty eight minutes, of which most was not him speaking, but fellow democrats wildly gesticulating to pretend he was making sense…or to keep the old geezer awake!

Murphy(AZ) said...

A follow-up to my previous post above.

I have learned that the Army does indeed have a boat, the General Frank S. Besson, Jr, (one of three of this type,) called Logistic Support Vessels, with bow and stern ramps and able to safely beach itself. They can carry heavy equipment, such as construction vehicles and supplies.

And that's all I need to know about the U.S. Army's navy.

American Cowboy said...

I endured about as much of Screamin' joe's tirade as I could. I heard him yap about there being 1,000 billionaires in the U.S. who only pay 8.3% taxes. What he conveniently forgot to mention to the trained seals clapping is that comes to one TRILLION dollars ($1,000,000,000,000) of total wealth, with taxes amounting to eighty-three BILLION ($83,000,000,000) of tax revenue.

Let's see the total combined amount that those trained seals can come up with at 8.3% tax rate.

And then there is the fact that in reality the top 1% pay an effective tax rate of 31.5%, and that top 1% pay a whopping 42.3% of ALL taxes in the U.S
pResident Pudding-head is lying through his dentures yet again, stoking division. I hope the Reaper comes to take him down to his permanent home very soon. I despise and loathe that idiot.

TrickyRicky said...

I should be in a good mood today. The weather is fine. We have a later sunset (yeah, I know, sucks when we go the other way). My wife and I are still above ground. Pets and kid and grand kids are well. There is just something irritating me, a lot like waking up wearing a hair shirt...What could be wrong?

Perhaps it has something to do with our president bowing and scraping to the hard left wing of his political party, you know, the commies who have basically infiltrated and compromised every one of our institutions. The sorry SOB who doesn't know his ass from a hole in the ground is now apologizing for telling the truth about the POS who brutally murdered Laken Riley! He actually said that illegals have built this country! I honestly try to have an optimistic view of our trials and tribulations, but I do not see how we survive as a democratic republic and a major player on the world stage. We are not headed for the dustbin of history, we are there.

Jess said...

We build a pier, put a few ships along the pier, pay some terrorists to blow them up, and the military/industrial complex has an orgasm. It's a win/win. Those that sell arms add to their piles of money, and Joe gets ice cream.

Oldarmourer said...

Building a dock to rearm hamas directly without letting the cargo go through Israeli inspection is a really good idea...reeaaallllly good...provided you want the terrorist attacks to continue, which the un and dems apparently do.

Ten-to-one says that within a week of the 'dock' opening, hamas swarms it, claims it for 'allah', and throws the US personnel out after taking everything they have. Or 'joey sh*t for brains and in his pants' just gives it to them, same difference.
A few days later the iranian cargo ships waiting offshore start offloading thousands of new rockets, which Israel promptly blow to kingdom come.
The media throws a conniption fit saying the dirty Jews 'destroyed aid' not mentioning it was military aid.
All proceeds as normal in the Middle East because the ones screaming for a 'ceasefire' are too fucking stupid to see that they had one before Oct 7th and another one later on that hamas violated once they'd regrouped enough.

Bobo said...

The progression: Undocumented. Illegal. Newcomer. Pilgrim. Indigenes. What next?… Citizen?????

John the Econ said...

Unaffordable housing. Unaffordable insurance. Unaffordable health care. Unaffordable education. Now that government has solved those problems, I just can't wait for them to end cancer as we knew it.

At least it's now safe to call illegal aliens "illegal" again. Thanks, Joe! You were finally a help with something.

And I'm so glad that my tax dollars are now going into infrastructure that will make it easier to ship the goods of war into Gaza. Again, thanks, Joe!

As for his tax plan: Federal spending is now so out-of-control that we could literally seize all of the wealth of the billionaire class, and we'd still only be able to fund the government for a days at best. Then what?

As for people "paying their fair share". that's pretty rich considering that Hunter Biden doesn't bother to pay at all.

Wealth taxes? Look out! Remember, a bit over a century ago, the Income Tax was implemented with the promise (wink, wink) that it would only apply to the 1%ers. Not even a generation later, it was hitting the middle class. Only a complete, ignorant idiot would think that the same won't happen to any unrealized wealth tax in even shorter period of time.

Dan said...

Why not have the UN build the port?

Shelly said...

@Mr. Econ, don't forget the lies that were told when Social Security and Medicare were foisted on us too. Whatever they are promising is 180 frum the truth and government agencies are never eliminated, only enlarged. I've heard stories about 14 departments doing the same thing, with only minimal differences between them. We pay all their salaries, medical care and who knows how many perks, like "company" cars. No wonder we are $35+ trillion dollars in debt.

Meanwhile, the Congress critters go into "public" service, get salaries close to $200,000 a year and come out multimillionaires. If anything needs to be investigated, it should be this.

Colby Muenster said...


"Why not have the UN build the port?" You should do stand up!


Slo Joe just submitted his proposed 2025 "budget." Well over $7 trillion! Thank God the chances of this flying in the House are slim, but that tells you all you need to know about the way Spendocrats think. "Let's spend DOUBLE what we take in from the IRS! Whoo hoo!"

Oldarmourer said...

The only way any liebral would end cancer 'as we know it' is to change the name and make it contagious with the only authorized 'treatment' being peddled by the company that gives them the biggest cut of the profits.