Wednesday, July 31, 2019

Not So Silent But Deadly

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To be completely honest, we're writing this before Tuesday night's Democrat debate (the first of a two night series) so we have no way of knowing the specifics of what the candidates will say. But we still feel fairly safe in our assumption that the cartoon above has captured the essence of the event.

Still, even from our viewpoint here in the past, we think there are a number of things we can predict about Tuesday's debate. Let's see how many of these we get right...

• Elizabeth Warren and Bernie Sanders, finally on the same stage, will shout themselves hoarse while trying to offer more free stuff than the other candidate is offering. Their combined offerings will total more money than there's ever been, or will ever be, but both will claim that the cash will magically materialize if a massive tax is levied on the evil rich.

• Beto O'Rourke and Pete Buttigieg will each try to eliminate the other, so as to be the surviving "young, alternative" candidate. O'Rourke hopes to accomplish this by inviting as guests several black high school football players who kneel during the playing of the national anthem. In this way, O'Rourke can make the important political point that it isn't only women soccer players who are assholes. Buttigieg, on the other hand, may respond that he is far, far more experienced in matters related to kneeling.

And our predictions for tonight's debate...

• Joe Biden, after promising to be "not so nice" to his political attackers, will challenge Kamala "Biden and his Klan buddies threw garbage while Norman Rockwell painted me walking into elementary school" Harris to meet him behind the gym to duke it out.

• Cory Booker, after gaining no ground by claiming that his testosterone levels make him want to punch Trump in the face, will walk back his statement by claiming that he actually has so much estrogen that he only threatened to attack the President because he was feeling cranky during his period.

The big topics of both nights will be racism and healthcare, followed closely by student debt forgiveness and the absolutely critical need to impeach Donald Trump for being Donald Trump. Little will be said about Russia or Mueller, (except, perhaps, in the context of discussing long term healthcare for the senile) and even less will be mentioned about the way Democrats routinely turn cities into soul-destroying slums.

There is, however, one bright spot in all of this. Which is that, after being on meds for diverticulitis for a month, we have now been cleared to start drinking liquor again. Whew - that was a close one!


Hankiepoop said...

yep.....nothing but hot stanky air blown........usual bs "concerns" and loving that most of what I heard was Trump...........Trump.......big bad meany the guy huh? hehe

Sortahwitte said...

What? " does a body good" is once again on the menu? Oh happy day. What an amazing special blend of nutritious grains and our bodily essence, pure, clean water. I really started to appreciate bourbon at the same time my heart meds put the fini do on alcohol consumption.

In my new found hobby, I discovered a new sticker on some cars referencing fauxcahontas and her alleged run for prez. They are designed with quite a bit of white space, allowing the graffiti monkey in someone I know to run wild. With my ever present fine point magic marker, I can quickly draw a "finger" on the sticker. Of course, it sort of looks like a cactus, but it's not. It's freedom of speech.

John25mm said...

Glad you are doing better and still in fine form for cutting to the chase of things.

However I am unfortunately pretty sure that vodka or gin don't count as "clear" liquids. Always remember that technically alcohol is a solution.

The cartoon probably has a better grasp of the actual participants than most any other talking head.

REM1875 said...

Liquor again" ? ....or are ya gonna go back to that that Klan Mcgregor varnish stuff ???

Jim Irre said...

Well, I'm no help. I don't watch fools trying to one-up each other. It is kind of funny though how they berate the crap out of each other for a few months, then the so-called winner wants an endorsement. Only in politics!

Brie Camembert said...

Your very good health, Sir! (raises glass)

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

Get that man a Clan MacGregor, STAT!

Anonymous said...

My day yesterday was way too nice to waste my time listening to people I want to throw objects at. Reading the abbreviated version above sounds like what reality was. The journalist-propoganda spouters were all atwitter (Trump betta watch it this time !!) last night after the debate. Finally - much ado about nothing i.e. more of the same.

Fred Ciampi said...

How abut taking all of the demo contenders, outfitting them with Roman style fighting gear, and put them all into the arena and let them fight it out? That would solve a bunch of problems at the same time. It could be put on PPV. I would pay for that while sipping my 12 day old Clan MacMoonshine.

TrickyRicky said...

I'm glad that the treatment regimen has come back to real medicine. Congrats! That has to put a better spin on almost everything, I know it does for me.

I'm worried, however, that your choice of libation could make you the target of racism charges.....couldn't you find a whiskey named, for instance, Reverend MacGregor?

Anonymous said...

I didn't watch it, but I'm quite sure this is an accurate assessment - if not in specifics, at least in spirit.

John the Econ said...

Didn't watch.

Last week my Progressive fans were bemoaning Trump's budget deal, much as I was because "the deficit!". Meanwhile, the candidates they're likely to vote for were likely proposing a-hundred-trillion-more of mindless spending, right?

KanB said...

Well well youse guys, I did watch the monkey show. Most as expected just wanted to buy the public by giving away the national treasury. "No problem, we'll just take money away from somebody else, not you." A few wanted them to calm down and take a more reasoned approach (These will be drummed out quickly.) I think it's a good idea to keep an eye on these nuts lest they sneak up and bite us in the ass.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Hankiepoop- I watched sporadically, but couldn't take much of the nonsense. It was actually nice, though, to see a few candidates calling out Warren and Sanders for being out of touch with reality.

@Sortahwitte- Well, I THOUGHT booze would do a body good, but I had one drink last night and my innards turned themselves inside out. Guess I'm back on the wagon for awhile. And I haven't seen any Warren bumperstickers around here...maybe I should drive over to Whole Foods.

@John25mm- Theoretically I can have liquids of any color and solid food now. I tested that theory yesterday and met with less than success. As for the cartoon, it's not subtle - but it's hard to beat for succinctness and accuracy.

@REM1875- Yeah, Clan MacGregor. And I'd forgotten how bad it is (wry grin).

@Jim Irre- It IS funny to see angry losers eventually endorse the prevailing candidate. Although I don't blame Ted Cruz for not quite endorsing Trump, after The Donald's accusations that Cruz's father was involved with the JFK assassination.

@Brie Camembert- Apparently my reasonably good health (raises bottle of chocolate Ensure).

@M. Mitchell Marmel- Now THERE'S a catchy slogan!

@Anonymous- I completely agree. It's hard to even care about this lunacy these days.

@Fred Ciampi- Oh, I'd love that. And I'd definitely pony up money to watch!

@TrickyRicky- You make a good point. What I've been calling "Happy Hour" may actually be a "Clan Meeting." Especially if I get sheet-faced.

@Anonymous- And getting the spirit right is nothing to sniff at. And yes, that was a fart joke.

@John the Econ- Exactly. The top Dems seem to be confusing "bold" spending with "insane" spending. Albeit not for the first time.

@KanB- And did you catch the moment when the moderator mentioned that one of the candidates would hypothetically be subject to Warren's "wealth tax," and the camera caught Warren rubbing her greedy little paws together? And I think you're right - the moderates are going to be shown the door pretty quickly.

John the Econ said...

@KanB, it's worse than that:

This Economic Theory Could Be Used To Pay For The Green New Deal

It's simply not possible to tax enough to pay for the countless-trillion-dollar-orgy of spending they're pitching.

So they'll just print the money, like they do in Venezuela or did in Wiemar Germany.

And when they did that in Wiemar Germany, they got the actual Hitler.

clbrto said...

ICYMI, I found this amusing about ButtBoy

Colby Muenster said...

Didn't watch the Punch and Judy Show, but heard some great tidbits. Don Lemon basically referred to Trump as a racist in one of his "questions." They may as well make Ilhan Omar the moderator and put Don Lemon on the stage.

And Amy KloakButcher almost being the adult in the room? WTF? Same for Chickenpooper. Compared to this crowd, he almost seems conservative.

Then there was Marianne Williamson's "Dark Psychic Force." Geez Louise! She is a gift from God. Her mind is a dark psycho farce.

But seriously folks, can a majority of Democrat voters actually get one of these morons elected to the highest office in the land? I pray not, or we will experience Wiemar Germany ourselves as Mr. Econ pointed out above. I wonder if Sanders, Warren and their comrades have ever read about the Golgafrinchians?

Shelly said...

I cannot subject myself to two hours (as it turned out three hours) of these incredibly ignorant, duplicitous jerks, and that includes the moderators or should I say mouthpieces for the Dim Party. I can get enough info here and other forums to get all I care to know. A couple of tidbits: Crazy Bernie called healthcare a "yuman" right. No, Bernice, robbing someone at the point of a gun to provide you with something you haven't worked for is not a yuman right. It is legalized theft. I also noticed that Amy Klobuchar adopted the standard Elizabeth Warren uniform, black pants and shirt with a red jacket. So original. It would appear the new age guru author "won" the night, Beto brought high school boys who disrespected the flag and anthem as guests and Buttigieg had a smashed bug on his forehead. Trump is a shoo-in.

Fred Ciampi said...

Oh, no! Buttplug had a smashed bug on his foreskin, I mean head. I wonder how that happened? Or was it a bug? I didn't have enough moonshine to watch the dee bate, or any other kind of bate.

Pat Cummings said...

@Colby Muenster, @Fred Ciampi: I cannot believe I've missed those masterful nicknames for Hickenlooper and Buttigieg! Until today... And who was the candidate who suddenly began yodeling her position statement?

Dan said...

Ohhhhhh. Dark PSYCHIC force. I thought she said dark pelvic force. I was bewildered.

igor said...

@Pat Cummings, You've really missed the wonderful/colorful nicknames for Hickeypooper and Buttplug. Or Bobby O'Dork. Or Camelhips Harelip. Etc.

Give your imagination free reign, especially with Amtrak Joe - he's the most fun of all!

Any bets on how agonizing the debate for tonight (Wednesday) is going to be? Not gonna watch, I have far too few brain cells left. Let the younger boys and girls suffer, I'll sit back and enjoy the scintillating analysis from others. Especially from Master Stilton (May The Farce Be With Him)!!

JustaJeepGuy said...

Gropey Joe Biden
Breadline Bernie Sanders
Elizabeth Fauxcahontas "Lieawatha" Warren
Mayor Pete Buttgig
Robert Francis O'Rourke, the Irish Mexican guy
Kamala "Horizontal" Harris

And that's just their top starting lineup. What a fine time President Trump will have with Demo_Rat "candidates" like these. It's almost like they actually work for the President and are trying to guarantee he will win.

Colby Muenster said...

When Lizzie Warren was still a part of the tribe, the chief named her Runs With Scissors.

Didn't watch last night either. It was time to have my groin area waxed, and that seemed like a less painful exercise. I heard SloJoe won the day, so it would seem he is now inevitable again. Too bad, as I would absolutely LOVE watching Trump slice and dice some of the other idiots. Not that he wouldn't slice and dice SloJoe, but watching Bernie, Buttgag, Sparticus or Chief Wampum get it would be pretty darn entertaining.

John the Econ said...

@Colby Muenster, it's my understanding that everyone was taking it easy on SloJoe. Trump will not. SloJoe can barely hold his own on friendly turf. He'll be toast if and when genuinely challenged.

Valvenator said...

I heard Slo Joe claimed everyone was dumping on him.
Imagine if he would have had to fill Trumps shoes for the past four years?!

BTW, I saw video of Bernie from the day before.
His face was so red I thought we were going to witness spontaneous combustion at any second.