A Christmas crisis has been averted thanks to Dr. Anthony Fauci, who bravely flew all the way to the North Pole to personally vaccinate Santa Claus after having the jolly old elf sign a few liability forms waiving legal recourse if things went sideways.
Fauci disclosed this exciting adventure during a special CNN/Sesame Street town hall broadcast meant to reassure the nation's children that Santa would not be a superspreader on Christmas Eve, sliding down chimneys and coughing on everything while dropping off presents which might as well be labeled "you'll be dead by New Year's."
CNN clearly picked the right man for the broadcast, as Dr. Fauci has a lot of experience spinning fantastic tales and trying to pass them off as true. Who can forget his whimsical assertion that surgical masks are dangerous for the general public? Or that China was "transparent" and a big, big help in fighting Covid-19?
Other wink-wink-nudge-nudge storytime favorites from the Fauci canon include his assertion that Hydroxychloroquine is ineffective in the early-stage treatment of the virus, and is super-duper dangerous besides. And that SARS-CoV-2 just popped up naturally and didn't come from Satan's workshop in Wuhan, China. Or his imaginative fable that the hastily approved (and wildly profitable) drug Remdesivir does any damn thing at all!
As always, Fauci's fables are designed to make himself the hero of the story. Of course, if he just told kids that "Santa doesn't get sick like people do," he wouldn't have been able to talk about his trip to the North Pole...and the magic horse he rode in on.
|Okay, he gets style points for his 2020 Christmas card
While details are still a bit sketchy, it would appear that pretty much every U.S. government computer system has been hacked and compromised, that Russia is likely behind it, and the beads of sweat on the brows of spokespeople with rictus-like grins suggest that we haven't heard the worst of it yet.
Fortunately, Joe Biden clearly has what it takes to wage digital war on Russia and put an end to their malarkey and shenanigans because he was assigned that task back in 2016 and made sure the Russians would never pull that crap again. Well, nearly sure.
Okay, his effort didn't work at all. And this trip down memory lane may explain why...
The Obama administration has accused Russia of hacking the email accounts of Hillary Clinton, her campaign manager, and Democrats in general and giving the information to Wikileaks in order to criminally influence our sacred national election by revealing the truth about how despicable everyone on the left is.
Hope n' Change isn't buying the whole "Russian plot" scenario for several reasons: it's of no obvious benefit to Putin, the theory is being advanced by congenital liars who are in full fanny-covering mode, and so far zero evidence of Russian involvement has been offered.
But that hasn't stopped Joe Biden (apparently taking time off from his extra-special presidential "moonshot" assignment to cure cancer) from declaring that the U.S. is about to engage in a full-blown cyberattack on Russia. Although the odds of our pulling off a sneak cyber attack just got a helluva lot worse thanks to the motor-mouthed veep.