Monday, June 8, 2020

Complete Cop Out

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, lefty lucy, defund, police, social workers, black lives matter

In order to prevent even a single future case of police malfeasance, liberals are now demanding to "defund the police" (which essentially means cutting training budgets, which won't give us better cops) or getting rid of the police entirely and replacing them with (wait for it!) unarmed Rapid Response Social Workers.

No, really.

We're not exactly sure how this would work. Would a social worker visit a crime in progress and attempt to disarm the perp with a forceful show of empathy? Or ask a rapist to stop pumping for a moment to consider what his victim's feelings must be? Or perhaps thwart a bank robbery by pointing out to the bandits that, in the end, money can't really buy happiness?

If attempted, we predict that this bold new initiative could be very effective in causing an uptick of rapes, murders, and robberies of social workers. Not to mention getting their "rapid response" electric cars stolen.

Realistically, all these social workers could really do is show up at crime scenes after the fact, and help the victims and survivors (if any) process the experience in emotionally healthy ways that don't in any way denigrate those who have been forced into crime by unfortunate circumstances and societal injustice.

Still, we want to be fair about giving this new system a chance. So we suggest that the first team of rapid response social workers be deployed to Chicago to clean up that pesky "inner city black genocide" thing. Because in those mean streets, there are clearly a lot of killers who desperately need a hug.


stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, biden, joe biden, delegates, election

Even though our disease-ridden, riot-plagued nation is overdue to catch a freaking break, it didn't happen last week when Gropin' Joe Biden finally scored enough delegates to assure that he'll be the Democrat nominee for president.

In complete sincerity, we welcome Biden's guaranteed place in the race because, in these troubled times, it's reassuring to know that we'll never run out of comedy gold.


M. Mitchell Marmel said...

Yanno, when Heinlein called these "The Crazy Years", he was, if anything, understating the case..,.

Still, there is hope, from the rooftalks speaking Korean to "Mess with the biscotti, you get shotty".

Not over by a long shot, though.

Fritzchen said...

O judgment! thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their reason.

May God have mercy on us all!

Boligat said...

Overheard in the 'hood while looking at the body lying in the street:

"How did you know who to target? I mean the URRSW's (unarmed rapid response social workers) don't wear uniforms, so how did you know?"

"It was the man-bun."

Snark said...

Advice to all those living in Loony Tunes land: As soon as the police are disbanded, sell your property and move to another jurisdiction. (Stay up there, DON'T move down here!) Downtown Minneapolis will be worth maybe $1K per acre a year after the police are gone. It will make a Syrian town look like a vacation spot. But as an experiment (and lesson) in the application of "Liberal Logic" (yes, an oxymoron. But they ARE morons, so why not?) we can watch and they can learn. It will be like an ongoing episode of "The Walking Dead" except they won't have the guns. Of course they will blame all their problems on Trump and conservatives, but what else is new? It's what they want, so let them get it. The few smart ones will leave. For the rest....well it sucks to be them.

Murphy(AZ) said...

How long, do you suppose, will it take for these "unarmed social workers" to decide that going forth into the dark night without a weapon is a mistake.

How many will decide to look for other career advancements when the woke city council won't allow them to arm up?

Going to stock up on whiskey and popcorn here.

FlyBoy said...

Note to Minneapolis city council: why stop at eliminating your police dept? How about doing away with all laws? After all, with no one to enforce the law, they’re all meaningless. Even better, with no laws, you don’t have any lawbreakers, either. While you’re at it, get rid of the courts, the judges, and lawyers, too. Hey, this is sounding better all the time...a true Utopia!!!

Rod said...

Yeah, right. Ask also the home & business owners, tax offices, chambers of commerce, association of realtors, public works departments, hospital boards, offices of tourism and even the local supporters for the arts and charities what THEY think of that plan.

And the proposed rapid response counselors will be at risk as well if they show up to citizens-arrest & Counsel anyone after legitimate self-protecting citizens and owners take out a bunch of rioters, looters & worse. What WILL still require funding are the sanitation departments to clean up the mess and truck body-bags to the landfill.

Really: Who comes up with this BS? It has to be deliberate, inciting, activist, fully-disconnected fiction-writers; and we all know it. Not worthy of any media or political coverage at all; but this stuff will get headlines anyway.

Alej said...

Anybody STILL think the South was wrong to try to leave ?

Uchuck the Tuchuck said...

Flyboy, getting rid of the problem. But getting rid of the law, the courts, and judges? What, are you mad? How can we possibly sue small business owners for discrimination without laws, courts, and judges? Could you live in the terror-filled world where a transsexual satanist cannot force a Christian caterer to provide snacks for the Black Mass?

Stilt, quick question: if she's Lefty Lucy, does that make Busty Ross Righty Tighty?

Elbarto said...

Not to worry comrades, they can replace the police with people's revolutionary committees that will mete out "social justice" where the offender and victim's group identity are more important than the facts.

TrickyRicky said...

What could possibly go wrong.....besides everything.

@Uchuck- Love the righty tighty observation. That has been out there for years, just waiting, and you hit it out of the park. Well played.

Sortahwitte said...

Stilt, just for your info, it's been way too long since we heard from Busty.

Today, in our small town, there will be a march and then a protest in front of our city building. We're told buses are bringing "protesters" from OKC, Tulsa and Wichita. I can't speak for everyone, but personally, I've had enough of this shit. Take your buses and get the hell out. Even the local radio is playing "Abraham, Martin and John", Ebony and Ivory", "Blowin' in the Wind" and other assorted sick cat screeching and puking. I. Have. Had. It.
Get the hell out of my yard!

Joe Jetson said...

In the "Progressive" cities, after the Police have been banned, there will be three distinct constituencies:

1. Rich, liberal elites with large private armies of bodyguards
2. Heavily armed criminals
3. Piles of stuff splattered against a wall.

Bobo the Hobo said...

@Upchuck - golf clap 🤩

Shelly said...

What is absolutely amazing about all of this to me is these unhinged leftists think this is going to help them politically. They think all of us are going to say, oh yes, this is a great idea and I will vote for you. Reelecting Trump and getting a House majority is just the first step. If they keep this up, and trust me, if Trump wins, what has happened lately will look like a walk in the park. I still predict there is a huge majority of people afraid to speak up but that won't last forever. If the police are removed, the safety of the populace will be left up to patriots who have had enough of this nonsense.

John the Econ said...

The real "White Privilege": What Lefty Lucy said. No doubt, Lucy lives in a nice, safe, secure white community. She doesn't worry too much since you'll never find her in the no-go neighborhoods about Minneapolis.

Rapid Response Social Workers: On occasion, I fantasized about the kind of laws I'd implement if I was the fascist dictator that Progressives like to imagine I'd be. One of these laws would be that any citizen who criticizes how police react to any particular situation should be made to ride along with police officers and when confronted with such a situation, demonstrate for the officers what they say would be the proper method of handling the situation.

Of course we all know that if such a law were possible, most if not all of our loud-mouthed Progressives would shut up. They have absolutely no interest in dealing with much less seeing the kind of social decay that our police officers have to face every single day.

So today I learn that my idea has a name: Rapid Response Social Workers. I can't wait to see these people in inaction. Or what kind of idiot would sign up for this position. The body-cam footage should be pay-per-view.

Because, as I've said here countless times before, with Progressivism, the real work is always up to someone else to do. They're happy to criticize and back-seat drive the hapless officers on the front line who have to deal face-to-face with the worst of our social decay. But never for a second would they ever consider doing the job themselves. They're happy to be part of a mob, but little more. They are lazy. They are cowards.

Try this social science experiment: For years when confronting Progressives who confront me regarding "climate change" and how we need windmills, solar panels and insulation, I'll ask them what they're personally doing about it. Usually after the deer-in-the-headlights look or some comment about their "activism", they'll mumble Biden-like something about recycling or changing out their light bulbs or wishing they could afford an electric car. I'll then ask what they're studying to do for a career. (These are usually useful idiot students, after all) They'll usually respond with something like psychology, sociology, or something with "studies" in the title.

I'll then ask: So, why aren't you studying for a career in building or installing windmills, solar panels, or insulation?" Expect another deer-in-the-headlights look. Ultimately, the answer is because that isn't want they want to do with their lives. But they want, no, expect someone else to do it, and pay for it as well!

So the next time you are interacting (I won't say "conversing", but that doesn't seem to happen anymore) with a Progressive who thinks that policing needs to change, ask them what they do (or are studying to do) today, and then ask "Why don't you become a police officer who then works eliminates this alleged 'institutional racism' from policing?" Or why aren't you encouraging your children or grandchildren in doing so?

Of course, even if they bother to respond it will be non-sequitur. If they are really dumb they might mention voting for more Progressive Democrats, but you will only point out that all these cities where this institutionalized racist policing has been happening have been run by Progressive Democrats for generations. The reality is that they have no interest in doing anything truly impactful with their lives beyond their cheap virtue signalling. It's up to someone else to actually address the problem. It's fun making them admit it.

As for Rapid Response Social Workers, I can't wait to see how this works out. I like it when bad Progressive social and economic experiments take place a far, far away from where I live.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@M. Mitchell Marmel- I seem to recall that Heinlein predicted in his stories that the streets would be lawless, and people would just take for granted that they needed to hire private security firms to guard or transport them. And you're right that all of this isn't over by a long shot.

@Fritzchen- I'll quaff to that!

@Boligat- Granted, the man-bun is just asking for trouble...

@Snark- I agree with you, although I have friends who live in Minneapolis who I worry about. If Minneapolis succeeds in getting rid of their police, it will be instructive at the very least.

@Murphy(AZ)- I'd guess that it would only take one call to make the social workers wise up...only I doubt Minneapolis will even find anyone dumb/suicidal enough to try it.

@FlyBoy- Careful with those suggestions, you might accidentally end up elected by the Democrats!

@Rod- All excellent points.

@Alej- Geez, I'm completely on the bandwagon for Texas to secede. Our state (I'm in Texas) was a nation once, and could be again.

@Uchuck the Tuchuck- You're right; the lawyers will never allow the dismantling of the system that keeps them rich. As far as the Busty Ross question goes, I don't believe she'd appreciate the label. (grin)

@jpb252- But group identities ARE more important than the facts! And talk about a time saver in meting out justice!

@TrickyRicky- I may have to ask Ms. Ross to weigh in on this herself...

@Sortahwitte- I agree that a visit from Busty is overdue, but today's idiocy could only come from Lucy. And good luck with your busloads of protesters (and, by the way, who the hell is paying for those buses?). And why is your radio station playing racial healing songs by white artists? Wouldn't a 24/7 broadcast of gangsta rap be more authentic?

@Joe Jetson- You nailed it.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Shelly- Yes, yes, and yes. I agree completely.

@John the Econ- I want to say that I read about some anti-police activists who were invited to take police training and then visit "Hogan's Alley" - the simulated city environment where good guys and bad guys suddenly pop into view and the trainees have only seconds to decide whether or not to shoot. The activists ended up blowing away a lot of "civilians," and came away with a new appreciation of the challenges the police face every day.

And excellent commentary on the Leftists' lack of commitment to doing the work to implement their dopey ideas. As always, their primary goal is to feel good about themselves...not actually doing good for others.

Bobo said...

A typical 911 phone call to police next year:

Call taker recording: “I’m sorry, the number you have called is no longer in service.

If you want to hear this message in Spanish, press numero dos.

If you want to hear this message in Chinese’s, say Sorry Charlie, no covid19 here.

If you still think defunding the police was a great idea, please think about it on your ride in the ambulance to the hospital.


Velveeta Processed Cheese Food said...

Jeez, Stilt, I was worried about you when the new episode didn't appear at 12:01 CDT. Thought maybe you got an overdose of bog squeezings. Glad to see you up and around.

Your point about cutting training is right on. This guy makes it as well:

This guy, Donut Operator, usually does analysis of police/citizen interactions. The insane BS cops have to put up with is unbelievable. The amount of patience officers display is also unbelievable. This is mostly due to training. Joseph Wambaugh in one of his books made the point that cops get in trouble when they act like civilians, i.e. respond to insanity with instinctive emotion. Wambaugh also pointed out that cops routinely have to deal with the worst people and people at their worst. I would give the average social worker about 2 minutes before trying to strangle someone in one of these interactions.

Edam Wensleydale said...

@Stilton: Been hearing talk that this was a well-coordinated "Dress Rehearsal", with a full blown uprising coming just before the elections. Dunno how valid that may be, but keep yer powder dry...

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

@Velveeta: As a 1994 graduate of the Philadelphia Police Civilian Academy, I can attest I left with a newfound respect for what the Thin Blue Line does...

John the Econ said...

The absurd "rules of engagement" that Progressives now demand of our police officers in the street reminds me of the absurd rules of engagement that liberals imposed upon our fighting men during the Vietnam War. People safely ensconced in the basement of the White House half a world away directed exactly when our men could fire and how every battle should conducted. And then went home to their safe homes in the burbs every evening.

The result was a lot of dead Americans, a demoralized fighting force, and ultimately the losing of a war.

And of course, our enemy in Vietnam knew this and exploited it to great effect. The thugs among us will do no less the same.

If there is any upside to this, it's the in-kind donation it's providing to the Trump re-election campaign. For example, here's a sampling of contemporary Progressive thought:

CAMEROTA: "What if in the middle of the night my home is broken into. Who do I call?"

BENDER: "Yes, I hear that loud and clear from a lot of my neighbors. And I know — and myself, too, and I know that that comes from a place of privilege."

Got that? Now just expecting police to respond to a home invasion is itself now considered "privilege". Thanks Lisa Bender, Minneapolis City Council President! You just endorsed both the concept of self-reliance and one of the purposes behind the 2nd Amendment!

3 Points:

1) Again, 2nd Amendment! Progressives now admit that there is no reasonable expectation that the police departments they oversee that you pay for will have any ability or willingness to protect you. (Can I get a rebate on my property tax bill for that?)

2) Another example of how Progressivism/socialism never elevates the standard of living of the proletariat. In fact, they aren't even pretending that it does anymore. Not only does it drag the proletariat down to the lowest common denominator, it justifies this failure in the name of "fairness". Hey, if a poor single mom-of-color in the 'hood can't expect police protection, then neither should you.

3) Declaring "privilege" is the same as declaring "I have no rational argument to counter what you think or say. I am simply asserting a self-defined sense of moral authority to allow myself to ignore you.

To a Progressive, the best debate is the one that never takes place.

omega_man said...

So defunding the police will lead to nightly episodes of "The Purge" reality live action TV in the offing folks. that Snake Plissken walking down the street?

Geoff King said...

Defunding/disbanding the police to stop violence makes just as much sense as defunding/disbanding doctors to stop disease.
I have a better idea. How about we defund/disband politicians to stop illogical bullshit? That could actually work.

Geoff King said...

Heard at more than one demonstration: "we don't want no mo' pohlice".
Wonder when Biden and Hillary will take up that ignorant and condescending mantra?

Brie Camembert said...

@John the Econ: "To a Progressive, the best debate is the one that never takes place."
Ain't that the truth!

It's a pity that we can't ship all the progressives/liberals off to a brand new vacant country and then let 'em run it how they like. Us consservative could then enjoy some peace and prosperity.Sadly, like all those who were going to emigrate if Trump was elected, it ain't going to happen.

Fish Out of Water said...

@John: Huxley and Orwell live on in the "progressive " mindset.

EB said...

Heinlein having been invoked, I wold add that he had a name for "Rapid Response Social Workers." They were his proctors of the "covenant," the document that replaced the Constitution in 2100 or so after Neamiah Schudder's religious police state was torn down. The proctors would greet a malefactor with a cheery "Can I do you a service?" They were armed with a hypo kit. They unrepentant were then dispatched to "Coventry,"a wide open prison where the inmates were free to do as they pleased, but with limited resources. More than one individual preferred Coventry over the oppressive nanny state in the world outside.

I am often impressed by the grand Master. He doesn't get the actual sequence of events, but the details are all there. He knew people.

Colby Muenster said...

If'n I lived in Minneapolis, I'd be packing all my stuff in a U-Haul right about now. Mayor Jacob Frey vividly demonstrated what has happened to this once great city.

I know there are fine, upstanding people in that city, but apparently the majority are stupid-ass moon-bats who brought this shit on themselves along with a fair chunk of the rest of the country. May they reap what they sow, and may I NOT reap what they sow.

Oh! Did y'all see Pelosi and her pack of minions in their cute little outfits kneeling for the camera? I about threw up on our living room rug. Will this stunt (and others) gain the Damocrats votes? I fear it just may, but also hope it blows up in their faces and they end up back in the minority.

Fish Out of Water said...

And yet I am puzzled by a story in today's news President Trump trails can't put a coherent sentence together, Biden by 14 points.

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

@Fish: Consider the source. The MSM cannot be trusted.

Lisa said...

Deeply-disappointed that you have bought the "George Floyd was killed by rouge racists cops" narrative. This vicious thug - who threatened to kill a pregnant black woman if she didn't give him money for drugs - was high on God-Knows-What when he was taken from his car after trying to pass off a bogus $20.

Minneapolis PD used leg/arm restraint of the neck 237 times last year, with 44 going unconscious; none died. The technique is just pressure on the side artery, not on the windpipe. The knee was NOT on his windpipe, he was NOT being chocked, AND he was resisting arrest. TWO autopsies (the 2nd by the doc Floyd's family hired) found NO injuries to the head, neck, or body in general; sounds like "police brutality" to me! Floyd wasn't "killed" by the cops -- he killed himself!

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Lisa- Did George Floyd have a nasty criminal record? Yes he did. Had he been arrested for any crimes in the past 10 years? Apparently not. Was George Floyd high when officers were taking him into custody? Possibly - the jury is out on that one. Did Floyd resist arrest? The police say yes, witnesses say no, and video from a nearby restaurant was inconclusive (some actions took place out of view of the camera, but no resistance was seen in what was recorded). Was it appropriate or within guidelines for the officer to keep his knee burrowed into Floyd's neck for almost 9 minutes...include 3 after the man was no longer responsive? No way in Hell.

You describe pressure on the neck artery as if it isn't dangerous. It cuts off the blood/oxygen supply to the brain and can cause someone to black out in seconds. Keep that pressure on for four minutes and brain damage begins. Keep it up for nine minutes and - surprise - the victim is dead.

I'm not going to paint Floyd as a saint, and I'm not going to paint all cops as racists and bad guys. But the charges currently leveled against the officer strike me as appropriate, and a trial is certainly warranted to get to the truth.

Lisa said...

Mr. Jarlsberg -- I will say it again: the technique used by Chauvin was used by the MPD 237 times last year with NO fatalities. Floyd had a heart problems, contraband in his system, and was diagnosed with COVID in April. Ellison has overcharged and he knows it, which is neither here nor there b/c there is no way Chauvin will get a fair trial.
When ALL of the facts come out, everyone screaming "murder" are going to look like fools, deservedly.

Colby, Jack said...

@Lisa Are you a college professor? I ask b/c some things are so obvious only a college professor could deny them.

(Props to Economist Thomas Sowell for the college professor quip.)

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Lisa- Wow, the MPD all put their knees on someone's neck for NINE MINUTES on 237 occasions with no problems? That's impressive - please send me a link to substantiate this. Please don't count any cases that were LESS than 8 minutes, 46 seconds.

And by the way, your count of 237 times the MPD used the technique isn't from "last year" - it's the total number of times it's been used since 2015.

And ALL the facts are indeed what I want to come out. That's why I'm not screaming "murder," but am instead saying that a murder trial seems necessary.

@Colby, Jack- I don't blame Lisa. There's so much bad information out there that people of intelligence and good intentions can still get things wrong - and I'm sure I do it myself.

Colby, Jack said...

I take your point, Stilt. And there are folks who seek out wrong information, too, as long as it conforms to their notions. Kinda bass-ackwards. Lefties do it. Righties do it. I do it, when I'm not careful.

When it comes to the various social media venues, I find that there's a pretty strong correlation between the quality of the ideas and the grammar and spelling of participants; careless spelling and punctuation often mark careless and/or impulsive thought. Kudos to you and the small, but vital, intelligent (and funny!) community you give voices to here.

DrDave said...

Hey Stilt, I am on a newer social media platform called MEWE, where none of the usual Google, FB, Twitter, et al, blocking, shadow banning, jailing and outright removal crap goes on.
I was wondering if I can copy your post(s) to my MEWE page, so some of my friends can get the same laughs and insights that I do by visiting your blog. Let me know, thanks!

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Colby, Jack- Confirmation bias is a big problem, and I'm sure I'm guilty of it myself from time to time. And as ever, I reserve the right to be wrong about anything. So I welcome all civilly-expressed opinions here, and certainly hope we'll hear more from Lisa.

And I marvel all the time at what a funny, intelligent, and erudite group we have here. I can't take credit for it, but I sure enjoy it!

@DrDave- Yes, please! I stink at social media and self-promotion, so any help spreading the word is much appreciated!